Ode to Jenny McCarthy

Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth is the best pregnancy book ever and the only one worth reading.

From Publishers Weekly- McCarthy, 1994 Playmate of the Year, actress (Scream 3; Baywatch; etc.) and former host of MTV's Singled Out, gave birth to her first child in 2002. Her pregnancy wasn't pretty—and she wants to tell readers all about it. At the outset, she tells them, "If you bought this book, you are already aware of my frankness when it comes to certain things—anatomy and bodily functions among them. If someone gave this book to you as a gift and you've never heard of me, apologies to you!" She goes on to recount the nitty-gritty of pregnancy in all its gory detail, covering morning sickness, hormonal rage, cravings, hemorrhoids, "engorged" breasts, gas, hot flashes, fainting spells, weight gain, acne, water retention and, finally, labor. McCarthy is undeniably crass but funny, and her candor and self-deprecation are refreshing. Each brief, chatty chapter focuses on a different—and awful—facet of pregnancy, with McCarthy relating personal anecdotes and usually winding down by reassuring women they're not alone. McCarthy's tales are, for the most part, a hoot, though they may offend more uptight readers. For example, in the beginning of McCarthy's pregnancy, she was constipated, so she visited a specialist. In the waiting room, the assistant called her name, and "everyone... looked up in surprise, and I knew what they were thinking: 'Jenny McCarthy has butt hole problems?' I was so embarrassed, until I realized that they had no right to be smirking: Those assholes were also there because of their own assholes. I felt better already."Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

I guess I have always found Jenny mildly amusing, though raunchy (image: Jenny sitting on teh toilet with her underpants down for a Candies shoes ad) at the very least because she seems free to be herself. I think I appreciate her more after reading this book. For all of her crudeness, she seems to be a better person than many celebrities (better morals somehow). But, back to the book..she discusses such things as fat arms, not wanting hemorrhoids, gaining 60 pounds, 36D boobs in the second month not being a Godsend (many books think you should do back flips) and she spends a whole lot of time watching TV. I could really identify with this book. I did not identify at all with The Girlfriends Guide (also written by a Playmate, coincidentally) and found the author to be vain and whiny and silly and annoying. Ironically, this book was referred to me with rave reviews by people who I do not find to be vain, silly or annoying.

Moving on, What to Expect When You're Expecting was written by two prison warden types who expect you to gain 15 pounds and eat a balanced diet. I'll stop there.

Fed up with most of the books for women, I started reading Kevin's Books (I skipped his first one entitle My Boys Can Swim, which was about 17 pages long), if for no other reason then they had cartoons. The Expectant Father was pretty realistic actually, and also gives a week by week account of what to expect, but the second book about after the baby is born (The New Father) is mostly about the importance of nursing. And it is written by a guy! Many peopel have asked me where my hostility stems from when it comes to nursing. To be honest, these books could be where I got my complex from (with the exception of Secrets of the Baby Whisperer which is also worth reading). Jenny doesn't nurse either. And she was super obsessed about having a healthy baby. So there is another person out there who did not find these two things mutually exclusive.

Seriously, I am done ranting about breastfeeding. The book is good for other reasons. Lots of them. It's just a great book. And a quick read. Buy it. No, actually, don't buy it. If I know you and you are pregnant, I will be buying it for you. SO, DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!!!!! But, if you are not pregant and o not plan to be in the future, but have been or know peopel who are, pick up a copy. It is super funny. I flew back from Boston first class the other night (I have plenty of miles, that's why) and was literally laughing hysterically amdist the uptight crowd.

***I am aware this blog sounds awfully rambling. Free wine in first class. Just by the book!