Monday, February 27, 2006

Middle Earth

Kevin's true identity was uncovered! The receptionist at the dentist office asked if he was a hobbit (Sean Astin to be precise). Adding insult to injury, a car with the license plate "Baggins" cut him off in traffic. I sometimes refer to Harry as a hobbit, so I guess it is not just me who thinks so.
As I, too, work on being a smaller person, I became aware of something else that is not just me: having a lot of health issues for someone who is a health nut. My Pilates instructor was going on yesterday that he was at an event and he wore shoes that didn't have his orthotics in them. The whole class could sympathize. We wondered what others do about being a little off balance, etc. and decided most people just don't know. Ignorance is bliss I suppose, but I'll be wearing my orthotics to my massage today. I'll be continuing Pilates, Massage, Chiropractic, etc. until my $6000 chirodontic devices kick in. Call me a hypochondriac. It's fine. My head will be on straight in about a year. In the meantime, it is comforting to know that even body alignment professionals need support.
As for the little dude, I picked up a Dora book (or two) this weekend. It had lots of words and he actually participated in reading the entire book from beginning to end. This was an exciting moment. He is on the road to being well-read when he enters T.C. Williams High School in 2018...and it looks like he will indeed have a high school to go to at that point. There was a "minor" fire on Saturday when the $90 million addition caught on fire. It turned the sky black, but kids were able to attend classes today. I'll get the elevator smile and head nod ready for when certain relative sinform us our taxes will go up.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Just what I was thinking!

This month's Sesame Street Newsletter has a lot in common with what is going on at our house now, so I thought I would share and compare.

YOUR 22-MONTH-OLD
Sesame Beginnings Newsletter
Posted by Grace Bennett
**************************************************
***Say Hello to "No"
***Getting to "Yes"
***Getting to Know Grandparents
**************************************************
***SAY HELLO TO "NO"
Have you been getting "no" for an answer a lot lately?
Well of course! But some of those no's most certainly mean yes!

As toddlers cruise through the second half of their second year, they seem to become quite
fond of that word. In our house, Ari seems to feel wonderfully empowered
by it. It's as if he suddenly discovered that he has veto power over virtually anything I say or do, whether it's popping a video into the VCR ("No A-B-C-D tape!") or pulling a pair of socks out of his dresser drawer ("No socks!").
I have to admit that as frustrating as I sometimes find all this nay-saying, I'm also fascinated by it.
I agree here. I think it is usually very cute. I love the scrunched up face, finger shaking no's, and the matter-of-fact No's, and the are-you -kidding-me No's. They are cute. I like that Harry can assert himself, and that he has an opinion. It is sometimes disregarded or compromised, but I like that he has an opinion. He is, after all, a person.

I profoundly admire Ari's ability to say "no" with such conviction.
(Actually, it's a skill I've always meant to work on!)
Me too!

I can't help getting a kick out of Ari's sheer pleasure in rejecting my every question and demand, even when it's something he's perfectly willing to do:
-- "Please get off the table, Ari."
-- "No."
-- "Would you like some apple slices?"
-- "No!" (As he proceeds to devour them).
Same here!

Family and friends tell me, "Uh-oh. Looks like he's hit the terrible twos," but this stage doesn't seem so terrible to me.
Me neither. In fact, I prefer these No's to the sad cries of not being able to express himself.

In fact, I've learned, experts say that all these noes you're hearing actually represent a positive, desirable development. They signify your child's need to carve out an identity separate from you. He's trying to learn and understand his own preferences--to delineate what he likes and what he doesn't. So you want to encourage your child in this area, but you also want to preserve your sanity.
***GETTING TO "YES"
It's important to give your child license to say "no." You don't want to be constantly admonishing him for something that's practically his prerogative at this age.
That's what I say!

When it's really not important (for example, which video to watch or what socks to wear), take the no in stride and ask your toddler to pick out something he prefers instead. Let him bask in that "I'm king of the jungle" feeling, at least for the moment.
Paradoxically, cutting your toddler some slack will make it easier to enforce your will when you have to.
Exactly! Kevin claims I am the good cop, but I just like to pick my battles for when they are really important, like having me quickly push Harry's car to the parking lot where he can drive it versus him driving it himself in the middle of the street, or not holding hands on the sidewalk versus having to hold hands in the street. I want Harry to make his own decisions and to learn how to make the right ones, but with guidance from us. I want him to know there is a time when it is in his best interest to listen to us. I let him try things himself, like peeling an orange, but he knows to ask for "He(l)p" when he cannot do it himself. we have gotten several compliments over how independant Harry is, followed up by that "it's nice to see!" We are still careful not to create a little demon child as we seem to have done with oour dog.

Soon you may need to put your foot down over something non-negotiable (like getting into his car seat), and that's fine. In this as in many other areas, your child really needs you to be firm, calm and clear about boundaries. Reserve your own noes for the big things. In time, your child will figure out the circumstances in which his noes don't get him very far.
Exactly!

You can also give your toddler practice in saying "yes." This strategy has worked well for me in the cups department, for example, once a source of great consternation in our home. Ari would become quite agitated if I simply presented him with a cup of juice or milk without first seeking his input. So now I'll ask, "Hey, Ari, would you like the dinosaur cup for your juice or the mermaid one?" and he's happy to pick one or the other.
"Do you want to watch Dora?"

***GETTING TO KNOW GRANDPARENTS
One thing I know Ari will always say "yes" to is a visit with his grandparents. He looks forward to slurping Grandma Bluma's chicken soup (the best!), reading books on Grandma Ruth's lap, watching Poppy sew, or simply conversing back and forth with Grandpa Roy.
Whether your and your partner's parents are just across town or a plane ride away, it's a wonderful thing for your child to get to know them (and other older relatives, too).
"Grandparents offer the kind of love and freedom a parent can't always offer," says Amy Flynn, director of the Bank Street Family Center in New York. "They're not worried about getting the laundry done or dishes washed. They're focused on being with and enjoying their time with their grandchild. And your child is the lucky recipient of it all."
Well, first off, that is what I do as well. I was talking to May about this yesterday. We think that when we are with our kids they should get our at least close to full attention. I save the laundrey for when Harry is asleep. But, moving on to grandparents, Harry got to see some of those this past weekend. I have a site in NJ and Harry had a birthday party to attend in NJ for Noah, so I took him up with me Thursday night. My mom watched Harry on Friday and he did very well. I was pleasantly surprised. He mentioned "Home" a couple of times but seemed to enjoy being there. Harry also got to see Pop Pop on Saturday. He entertained Harry in the car to and from the party near Pt. Pleasant, and Pop Pop thinks Harry is "neat." Part of this "neat-ness" stems from Harry pointing to the dead deer on the wall and refrring to it by her given name, "Martha."

It works both ways, too. Your child can bring your parents and in-laws a pure joy you may never have seen in them before!
To foster this closeness when you're visiting, try to arrange little activities that allow your child and her grandparent to bond without your involvement. Bring along some of her favorite books and ask your mother if she'd like to read them to your child. Suggest that little Jake might love to "help" in the kitchen, and show your mom the toddler-safe ways you've devised (like slicing a cucumber with a plastic knife). If you're lucky enough to have parents or in-laws who are willing to babysit, all the better. Nothing's cozier for grandparents and grandkids than time spent hanging out alone together.
Have a peaceful month with your little no-bot!
That's funny!

Next month I'll write to you about the potty and other discoveries your toddler may be making.
Best wishes,
Grace Bennett
Grace Bennett is a mother of two living in Chappaqua, New York, and a frequent contributor to Sesame Workshop.
Visit Sesame Beginnings for personalized information just right for baby and you.

So anyway, that's the updates on Harry for now. He is still as cute as ever. It is really cool to have conversations with him. I can't wait until it gets warm out because he refuses to wear mittens outside most of the time. He toy-tested teh Dora play house at Isabella's on Saturday so , yes, I bought it for him. He loves it. And yes, I had the Barbie playhouse but so what? I didn't by it so he coudl have everything under the sun. He doesn't even know most toys exist. I bought it to both make my life easier and because he loves dora at the moment and because it would be great if it actually teaches him Spanish and it will improve his imagination. Learning through play. I don't work just to pay the mortgage. What fun would that be?

And speaking of spending money, I have officially booked Harry's second birthday party at The Little Gym on April 22 at 3:30. Invites will follow for our 20 most favorite little kids. If you are an adult that would like to check out the action on the "birthday party circuit" let us know. They are a lot of fun to watch!

This year's party will be following a Curious George theme. I think next year we will do an Earth Day Birthday. I am already tossing ideas around in my head, and am looking for someone to conduct activities such as tie-dying and worm hunting (fake of course). Meg- want to plan a trip for next April 22nd?

Friday, February 17, 2006

I love my ball!
My bouncy ball! No - wait- I was about to say mini van, but got started watching my favorite episode of Dora. The one about the bouncy ball. I love the way Boots says "My ball is bleu!" But I digress. As I was about to say, I LOVE my mini van. I am serious. I love the way the dry cleaning fits. I love the way my groceries fit. I love the way the dog fits. And Harry loves seeing out the window, having all of his stuff with him, and the 6 disc CD changer that plays Ernie by request. Or Elmo. My convertible did not have a 6 disc changer. Heck, it didn't even have a CD player!Last September I traded in my cute little Cabrio for a light blue Town & Country mini-van. I was a little distraught the day the donation people came to pick it up, but I honestly had not driven it since the day I bought the van. I have spent the past few months happily cruising Northern VA neighborhoods.TODAY IT GOT WEIRD! Today I am in NJ. In the town that I was born. Today, I am driving past the places I used to drive past in my old convertible. The one I had in high school. You see, until recently, I was a convertible kind of girl. I will surely go back to them at some point, but I've been happy with my mini-van. But there is just something very weird about driving one on the streets you used to be driven on as a child. And cruising in a mini van in the same parking lot you used to "cruise" for guys - granted, that was the movie theatre end, and I was at the Whole Foods end. It's just weird, that's all. Weird. Weird like teh first tiem an adult tells you a dirt joke. That kind of weird.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Point or Counterpoint...?

not quite sure which this would qualify for, but either way, it seems to weigh heavily in favor of my argument...

After the recent head-to-head bouts of will, Kim had to go to CT for a day-trip yesterday, and I'd have to say that little man was about as pleasant as he could have been. Once we got past the perfunctory Q & A's we were good to go:

"mommee?"
"Harry Mommy's on her way to Connecticut, she'll be home tonight."
"home?"
"later... tonight"
"ow?"
"Do you want to get out?"
"dor-ah... DOOR-ah"
"okay... let's go watch Dora"

And off we went.

I daresay an even quieter, more efficient morning than most. Minor assistance on the coffee-brewing (Harry likes "smell" the fresh grinds, and then to push the button to turn it on). Quick intermission between episodes of Dora The Explorer and Blues Clues to get dressed, and then out the door with nary a fuss.

So I figured that was my morning, but that coming home was therefore going to be a bear.

As the post-snowstorm thaw has begun in earnest, the kids apparently spent some quality time getting muddy, and Harry was in a completely different outfit when I arrived to pick him up (not that this is anything earth-shattering mind you, actually quite the opposite...we're surprised when he comes home in the same thing). Cranked up the Sesame Street CD, and headed home.

Muddy boots tend to clash with upholstered auto interiors, so they stayed off for the ride... which made for an easy reason why we couldn't spend any time shoveling the now-melted snow in the backyard. Inside we went, and I thought I was in for it when little man did 2 complete laps around the first floor checking every single room & corner for Mommy...

"mommee?"
"Harry Mommy's still in Connecticut, but she's coming home tonight."
"home?"
"later... tonight"
"ow?"
"we can't go outside, you don't have your boots on"
"dor-ah... DOOR-ah" (quick scramble onto the couch)
"door-ah" with a very satisfied look of expectation.

notice any patterns here?

Regardless, we did very well, and he was surely happy to see Mommy this morning, especially since he hadn't heard her come downstairs... the sudden appearance from around the corner brought that look of instant surprise that immediately crosses into elation when Kim comes into the room.

"MOMM-eee!!!!"

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

These are the times that try men's souls...
-- Thomas Paine, 1776

Okay, so maybe not the same kind of crisis, but in my eyes at least, one nonetheless.

2 months early, the terrible two's are certainly kicking in. Coupled with some obvious separation anxiety, a stuffy nose, potentially second-year molars on their way out, and maybe even another budding ear infection, and a weekend spent at home and primarily indoors compliments of one final Nor' Easter for the year, makes for plenty of elongated and often hi-pitched, lung workouts.

On the other hand, you've got to figure that with all of his screaming & carrying on lately, that his aerobic capacity and VO2 MAX scores will certainly be off the charts.

Luckily for me, it all seems to have also coincided with my first solo evening outing in quite some time. Kim had her night out with Bon Jovi, I had the next night out with your Washington Capitals. I actually had a very nice time, and got to see lots of old friends from the arena. It was odd to be out without either Kim and/or Harry, but I did my best to be sociable.

Ever since then, Harry seems to have decided, and made it readily apparent to us that Mommy rules now (BTW, for those of you keeping score, the previous practice of Kim being MAma and me being maMA has changed almost completely to Mommee and Daddee... which is nice). There seems to be very little that I can do to soothe him lately, unless of course, Kim's not actually in the house. If she's there, but not in the same room, the world is certainly going to end in a huge fireball unless she makes it back pronto. And by fireball, I mean lots of screaming until there's no more air coming out (hold it for a few more seconds just to get Daddy's reaction), tears literally streaming down the cheeks (sometimes even projectile... yes -- PROJECTILE TEARS), and every once in a while, just for effect, the kicking feet are brought out.

I have apparently turned from bad cop into full-fledged evil-doer. The fingershaking "...no No NO" that many seem to think is so cute, has become directed at me rather than just happening near me.

That is of course until Mommy comes around the corner, and the world is suddenly at peace again.

On the upside, his vocabulary continues to grow by the hour, and the weekend snow gave him a great chance to show off his prowess with a shovel... if I can only keep him convinced that it's fun until well into his teen years we'll be in good shape.

So all of this should get an even more interesting kick in the teeth this weekend, as Kim & Harry will be heading north to NJ for a few days. Kim has to travel to a site in Berlin NJ for Friday, and a birthday party on Saturday for Noah Colton... which means she & Harry leave Thursday evening (at bedtime) and come back late Saturday night.

Should be interesting to see if he remembers me by then...

Happy Hallmark Heart day to all of you who choose to celebrate it, as well as those who denounce it.

Have a good one either way.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Curious

Now that Harry is officially addicted to TV, we thought it might be a good idea to take him to a movie. We weren't sure if his attention span would last for the entire show, but Curious George is out, it is G rated, I had a $10 gift card, we went to a matinee, I was sick, it was about to snow, they have video games and escalators and popcorn (a choking hazard test which Harry successfully passed last week) and straw cups. What did we have to lose? I will tell you: a grand total of $5 and it was completely worth it---if only to see Harry lying back (on my lap), staring up at the scream, popcorn in one hand, fruit punch in the other, and a big "WOH!" coming out of his mouth!
I didn't get to eat much popcorn, I coughed 37 times on Harry's head, and he got up to leave halfway through the movie, but I think overall our adventure was a big success! Now...can someone please tell me what happens once Will Ferrell gets back from Africa?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Ugh!

I'm sick. For some reason, when I am sick, I feel the need to tell everyone, just as a matter of fact. I'm sick.

"Luckily" I seem to be sicker than Harry. He has a runny nose and moans a lot in his sleep. But he otherwise seems okay.

"Luckily" I have several dozen physician CVs to turn into 2 page documents. Most of these Cvs are 40 pages of fluff, most of which does not include dates, but at least it is mindless and billable. There's the magic word! Billable. But mindless works right now, too.

I am taking my Dayquil every 3.75 hours. I took some Airborne, although "Developed By a 2nd Grade Teacher" does not instill much confidence. I prefer my Ancient Chinese Secrets (Echinnacea) but I am too sick to look through my suitcase to find it. I have some Zinc gum. Yuck. My mouth tastes like metal now. I did yoga and am still on the fence about going to acupuncture. I spent a small fortune this week at the chiropractor (but other than feeling sick, I feel 32 again).

My mom tells me to take chicken soup and I will be better in a week. Um, not planning to be sick for a week, but thanks. Today is Day 2 and I have sent an eviction notice. I have new orthotics for my running shoes and I will not hesitate to get out there and sweat. If I have to.

Let's just hope The Bug doesn't get this bug.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Blue's Clues is now interactive!

It's official! Harry now follows along and points out clues on his fav, Blue's Clues. It all started with his ability to find the piece of fruit out of a choice of 4 items. Yes, APPLE was the fruit. But today, he pointed to the TV and looked at me to show that Blue was hiding under the bed. A future detective in the making.

But, don't worry, Harry did more than watch TV this weekend. We hit the park on the way home Friday, wheeled the duck backpack to Chicken Out for lemonade, and drove his little car all over the neighborhood. Saturday we went to gym class (he's a Beastie now), drew pictures with Janie and checked out Dan's new deck, and made a trek to Olney to visit baby Tyler. Sunday we spent some QT (again at Chicken Out) with "Lan(ce)", then all headed to the pool to swim with Lance, Ledi and Hannah. Harry and Hannah especially enjoyed playing with the "fountains" at the pool. After, we swung by Uncle Kris's to point out puppies and babies on the iMac and practice skateboarding. Later, Tara helped read bedtime stories.

Monday - Friday has become my weekend!