Harry is 17 months old today!!!
Below are some notes from Sesame Street's Crib Notes.
Harry is textbook as usual. He loves Snoedel, and he loves hiding in closests and rooms nad cabinets (even dark ones!) so that he can peak out and giggle. Separation Anxiety has also peaked. I may have to look into one of those hip harnesses...


YOUR 17-MONTH-OLD
Crib Notes From Sesame Beginnings
Posted by Grace Bennett

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***Separations and That Special Blankie
***When You Need to Leave
***More Comfort
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***SEPARATIONS AND THAT SPECIAL BLANKIE

Has your toddler yet chosen a special teddy or blankie to help him weather life's more stressful moments, like your leaving him with a babysitter or taking him for shots? If it hasn't already, that special lovey or "comfort object" will become one of the most important--if not the most important--items in your household for some time to come.

Somewhere between the ages of 15 and 19 months, a toddler becomes capable of forming a mental image of you that he can conjure up when you're not around. Unfortunately, that mental image may not always be sufficient to sustain him emotionally during even the briefest separation--like when you need to run upstairs to grab a diaper. If you're like me, you probably have a pint-sized companion shadowing your every step and have become more or less resigned to the company even when you're on the john.

WHEN YOU NEED TO LEAVE
Occasionally you need to lose your little shadow, whether it's for a 20-minute run to the grocer or a drop-off at a babysitter's or Grandma's for a more extended period. A comfort object won't magically stop your child's tears or prevent her from feeling anxiety, but once you're away, it can make your absence that much more tolerable. If she can't always rely on you to be next to her at her every waking moment, well, then she may as well turn to her always available and cuddly elephant or Raggedy Ann doll to stand in. Makes sense to me.

My daughter Anna's teddy had certainly done all that for her and more by the time she was 14 months, but as Ari approached senior toddlerhood he still didn't have a lovey. I tried my best, lining up the walls of his crib with an array of stuffed animals for him to choose from, talking up each one from time to time." Doesn't George (the famous monkey) look cuddly?" or "Give Oinky a roly poly pink pig a big hug!" Ari would play and enjoy each of them, but no one of them seemed to cast a spell on him that would make it his main squeeze in lieu of me.

Then one night I was reading to Ari before bedtime, wearing an old soft flannel nightgown that has dozens of mini teddy bears floating around on it. I'd worn it frequently since Ari was born, both because it is so comfortable and because I thought Ari might be amused by it. As I read to him that night, Ari stroked my arm and my lap in this incredibly heartwarming, loving manner. When I went to put him to bed, an idea struck me. I peeled off my nightgown and put it in the crib with him. My son became delirious, giggling and rolling with the nightgown as if it were a new golden retriever puppy. "Like teddy gown!" he said, officially naming my nightgown, and eventually drifted off to sleep with a smile. From that moment on, I was down one nightgown, but Ari had finally found a new best friend.

These days our separations are easier for Ari. To enhance your toddler's comfort factor when you're not around, encourage her to use her teddy or blankie in role-play. Say, "Time for Teddy to go to sleep," for example.
Together, tuck the teddy inside a blanket, read him a favorite book, and give him a hug and a kiss. Then allow her to help you turn off the lights and say good night and sleep tight.

Let him take his comfort object along with him on those errands and trips that can seem disconcertingly unpredictable to your toddler. If you deprive him of a comfort object, you send a message that he'll "just have to cope" when he's feeling uncomfortable or you're not around. And that's a hard pill to swallow at this age.

Your child is unlikely to outgrow her object of affection any time soon, although it might become her little secret. When my daughter was asked to bring in her favorite teddy for a kindergarten party, she chose a cute white one she owns, but one that I've rarely seen her play with. "Why not Teddy?" I asked her, referring to the mousy brown number she's slept with and toted around for years. "Because no one knows I still sleep with him, Mommy!" she whispered.

***MORE COMFORT

Sometimes it can seem as though your 17-month-old is on a roller-coaster ride with his emotions--deliriously happy one moment, cranky and distressed the next. That's perfectly normal, and what he needs most is for you to stay close to him on that ride. At 17 months your child obviously has an intense need for a great deal of attention and affection from you. Here are a few more ways to achieve that:

*Graduate to hide and seek. You may already notice that the simple peek-a-boo games your child adored as a baby may not elicit the same number of giggles. Don't take that as a sign that your child doesn't appreciate the peek-a-boo concept anymore. He's just ready for you to take it to the next level, one in which you begin to encourage a passion for hide and seek. Chase your toddler from one room to the next. Wherever you two end up, and even if your child is in full sight, call out: "Where's Caitlyn? I don't see Caitlyn." When she jumps out and says, "Here I am!"
or even if she's just standing there, act extremely surprised and delighted to see her by exclaiming, for example, "Hurray! I found you!"

*If you're pregnant, feel free to talk about the new baby coming. While your 17-month-old may not completely comprehend the event, there's no harm in talking casually about it and sharing books with your toddler that may help familiarize her with the concept of becoming a big sister.

If the baby has already arrived, be extremely sensitive to your toddler's need to stay close to you. At this age it's especially tough to accept the notion of sharing you with anyone, so the extra attention is really critical. Include her when you're nursing, for example, by keeping one arm around her, or set aside special cuddle-and-play times exclusively for her that will remind her that she's still your baby and very much loved.

Revel in your affectionate toddler this month! Next month I'll write to you about toddler eating habits. I'll tell you about the days Ari turned up his nose to peas and carrots and how I coped when he began to swear off anything even remotely healthy.

Best wishes,
Grace Bennett

Grace Bennett, a mother of two young children, lives in Chappaqua, New York and writes frequently for Sesame Workshop.

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