Nap Time!
Does passing out after crying for an hour still count as napping?
Do you think Harry picks up on the fact that I hated napping, and still find it a waste of time?
Maybe that is why he keeps saying apple over an over. He is trying to tell me the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!
School resumes January 3rd!
And Whole Foods opens on Duke Street January 17th!
Coming up next: my 3 day adventure with Harry!
Journaling the last month before Harry's arrival into the world, and wherever that takes us.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
Making the best of a bad thing...
(Also subtitled: the continuing saga of my disdain for "The Holidays")
Please note:
This is a VERY long-winded rant by yours truly about a really stupid situation that got decidedly worse this weekend. If you prefer very long stories, that hardly effect you in any way, please read on. If not, don’t torture yourself.
As if we all don't bring enough "bad energy" upon ourselves around this time of year, what with all of the shopping with money we don't really have, the long-thought considerations if what to get for people we don't really know, struggling to spend "quality" time with people we don't really want to see, coupled with the lack of time in the ever-shortening daylight sun (okay, technically we're beyond the solstice and the days are actually getting longer again, but certainly not fast enough), to say makes for stressful times, may well be the understatement of the year.
Add to all of this, when some of said people we don’t' really want to see, decide that this is a perfect opportunity to push their own agenda. When they seem to think that now, of all times, is the best time to "stick to their guns" and do their own thing.
Over the last several years, we've made concerted efforts on many occasions to make it to see as many people as we can on each trip north. Specifically, at this time of year, we seem to have our hands most full. It's enough that we have so many people that we actually do want to see that are scattered all over the Philadelphia Metro area, add to that a precocious toddler and a particularly unwelcome canine, and itineraries can get dicey, to say the least.
This year we decided to, perhaps against better judgment, crunch our holiday running-around into a two-day affair. We made it known quite some time ago, and reiterated over the Turkey-day holiday, that Kim would prefer to not spend her birthday trapped in the car, crawling north on I-95. Personally, I had hoped to dodge the drive altogether, but the compromise was to leave VA on Xmas eve morning, head to West Chester for Shrimpfest (7 not 5... OOPS), and then over to NJ on the 25th for a pinball-type affair trying to see everyone on that side of the river before heading home around 7pm.
Oh yes... all the while, finding a place for the aforementioned Regal Beagle to spend Christmas Vacation, and keeping Young Harry (you remember Harry? There’s a website around here about Harry) entertained, well-rested, and fed.
So go figure, Kim the world traveler has put together a relatively realistic itinerary for the weekend, in which we actually had some wiggle-time, and overall, not too much time in the car. All is well... until the sticky guns decide to rear their ugly heads.
There's nothing worse than when someone you're not allowed to distance yourself from, by virtue of blood relations, decides making not only an ass of themselves (again), and an absolute mess of what has historically been a relatively fun occasion. Now I know there are myriad of discussions of the state of, importance of, detriment of, direct effects of (etc... etc... etc) sibling rivalries, but by definition, doesn't a rivalry need to be recognized by both sides?
For those of you new to the situation, a few quick notes: Kim is an only child. I've got an older bother by 3 years, and a younger sister by 6 years. Meghan and I have what I'd like to consider a pretty solid relationship, as she also seems to have with Kim... which is nice. To say that my relationship with Bryan is strained, would be putting things politely... VERY politely. As well, both of my parents have remarried since their divorce, Kim's father remains single, and her mother has remarried. Now back to the story...
So back to our travel schedule... the plan is -- up at the crack o' dawn with young Harry, whip up a batch of blueberry pancakes for nourishment, everyone dressed and in the car, drop off the pup at Positive Playcare, and head North to PA to spend the afternoon in West Chester prepping for Shrimp. Touch base with some friends at the park, eat some seafood and such, make Meghan watch "It's a Wonderful Life" finally for the first time, and get some rest. once again, up at the crack o' dawn, head East to NJ for breakfast at Pop-Pop's, over to see Kim's cousins & godparents, to Kim's Mom's, to the firehouse, to see Melina's new house, then to Shelly's for dinner, Harry into his PJ's, then head South to sleep at home that night.
While it may sound intimidating, take it from me... this was a GREAT plan.
I took the 23rd off so Kim and I could spend her birthday together on a date-day (nights never seem to work out that much, although we DID make it to Tara's for dinner on the 22nd!). Harry off to school for his last day, haircut for me, some cleanup around the house, catch the matinee of Harry Potter (great flick, even without having read past the first book), pick up little man, pick up a nice dinner & desert at Whole Foods in Clarendon, and head home in preparation for a nice weekend of whirlwind travel.
Actually got a call on the 22nd from big brother, looking for info on our travel plans, and if we wanted to meet up for dinner before Shrimpfest (Mr. Fisherman doesn't eat seafood, so for him the menu suddenly doesn't appeal to him). I think I politely declined, but was "looking forward to seeing them." Thought the call was a bit odd, but didn't think much of it.
Called big brother again on the 23rd to wish him a happy birthday (for those playing at home, Kim and Bryan share the same birthday, as do I with his wife Anna). Admittedly an extremely brief call, but I had spoken to him the night before, and was going to see him the next evening.
We head to the movies, and I naturally turn my phone off. As we depart, and I go to check voicemail, a curious message from Bryan that there was some spat between him and the Red man that morning, and that they would not be seeing us at Shrimpfest. Maybe we could get together while we were up there.
Are you kidding me? Did I mention our schedule?
So I call back, and he gives some long-winded explanation about how having a phone call earlier with Dad, and getting into a big argument about something that happened the previous Spring between Anna and my Dad's wife Sue, that apparently got tied into Bryan's lack of communication with me and our sister, and that his decision was made that they wouldn't be going, it just wasn't a good time, and that he was sticking to his guns. Maybe we could come to his place before we went to West Chester, it's about the same travel-time anyway, and their 9 month-old wasn't felling well, and that it just wasn't a good time, and he was sticking to his guns...
Rrrrrrright. Whatever.
So I give him the bird's eye of our schedule, and where we have some free time at the park to meet up with some other friends and their son who's Harry's age. Maybe they could meet up with us there.
well, their 9 month-old wasn't felling well, the Park may be too much, it just wasn't a good time, and he was sticking to his guns... we'd talk tomorrow.
Right around now, some of you who have been paying particularly close attention may recall that my own original travel plans for this holiday season revolved mostly around no travel whatsoever. We'd be in VA, and everyone has our address. If you'd like to come by, we'd love to see you, and if you can't make it, we certainly understand, and we'll see you sometime soon.
My sister got wind of that "plan" and made it clear that it wasn't going to fly. This was one of her few trips back from Seattle during the year, and I certainly wasn't going to be the one to stick a fork in the Shrimpfest tradition if she had anything to say about it. So we decided that perhaps we'd oblige and make an appearance. Compound that with the staunch effort to not be traveling on Kim's birthday, and we suddenly were spending an entire day in West Chester, hanging out.
So you can imagine that the next call, after confirming the sudden turn of events, was to Meghan to find out what was going on, and get her side of the story. Admittedly, the details were hazy at this point to her, but she was indeed aware of a blowup conversation between Magoo and Bryan that morning, that seems to have somehow stemmed from Meghan relaying a request for a more varied menu...?
This is getting dumberer by the second... no?
So onto the other horse's mouth. A call to Magoo confirmed the heated exchange (perhaps better described as acrid) and a personal experience of the low-blow argumentative style that my brother has so glamorously displayed in the past (although certainly not to anyone outside of our immediate family, only internally), and the ensuing rude awakening that he indeed continues to exist in his own world. That said, Magoo had planned to let things cool down -- on both sides of the fence -- and would again re-invite them tomorrow.
You’ve got to admire the unprecedented gall, if nothing else, to be able to call out the host on something that you screwed up yourself six months prior, and turn that into enough of a heated exchange to bring down the party for everyone else, and expect everyone else to come running to you to change their best-laid plans, so you can feel superior… after all, you stuck to your guns.
With no intention of changing any of our plans, we give everyone a chance to sleep on tings and head out as planned the next morning. Just above Baltimore, I decide that it’s as bad a time as any to return Bryan’s call, to see what their plans are, if they’ve changed at all, and where they are going to be. No sign of the olive branch that Magoo was to have offered, and indecision at best to meet us at the park, but he’d call back. Almost at our destination, I give Meghan a ring to see what she knows, only to catch her in her very own emotional state. Turns out that Bryan does plan to meet up at the park, but very clearly (read: loudly) makes it known to Meghan that he absolutely will NOT be coming to Magoo’s place, and that if she has any problem with that, she’d better let him know right then. Ah, diplomacy.
So we finally arrive, only to find Meghan still fresh in her emotional state. After all, her only intention in this trip was to get to see everyone in one place before heading back out west.
After an admittedly very awkward greeting with the Magoos and a quick lunch, Meghan, Kim, Harry and I set out to meet up with whomever was coming to Everhart Park.
Lisa and her son Christian arrived in short order, and the boys had a blast going from one sliding board to the next, climbing on various expressions of Fire Engines-turned-Jungle Gyms, and tossing leaves at and around each other.
And up rolls the Saab wagon. Out pop Bryan, Anna and Patrick, like there’s nothing wrong. All smiles, no hint of apprehension, aggression, or even apology. No mention of why we were meeting in the park, why they decided at the last minute to ruin the party, what they were going to do instead, or even any future get-togethers. Of course, why would they? In their world, as always, they’re right, and you don’t matter.
There’s nothing like making small-talk with a couple of people who have to win at everything. Even at small-talk. It’s one thing to not get a word in because the other person is always going, but it’s completely another when no matter how much of an open-ended question you ask, it immediately gets turned into a closed one.
Harry and Christian all the while are flying higher than ever on the swings with very well-timed “Whheeees” and Whoooooooooas.” Patrick eventually got on and proceeded to doze right off.
So after about an hour of strained conversation, they decide it’s time for them to go home, but they’d like to exchange gifts. So Meghan and I head back to Magoo’s to get things out of our car, and Bryan & Anna meet us there in their car. Nothing like standing out in front of the house, handing each other shopping bags of loot, and making nice at good-bye time.
Meghan and I headed back to the park, myself feeling as if a weight had been lifted and the whole thing was done for a while. We snapped some more photos of the boys on their swings, slides, fire engines and see-saws, and headed back to Magoos for a Shrimpfest that couldn’t be beat, and headed to NJ the next morning.
Depending on how you look at it, the best drama we could come up with on the east side of the river was the most Christmas gifts we’d ever seen in one room for 2 kids (courtesy of Dominic and Isabella Decker), and the utter panic on Harry’s face when he actually made it to see the real Fire Engines up close & personal, inside Allen’s fire hall (Extended thanks and warm wishes to all the guys at Erlton Fire Hall)
I guess the moral of the story so far, is that the effect of poor decisions can be exponentially compounded when coupled with tasteless timing. Situationally speaking of course, sticking to one’s guns can certainly be a respectable decision to come to, but to blindly do it without regard to your extended audience can be a real pain in the ass.
Overall, I’d have to say a relatively well-spent holiday weekend. A bit compressed, but Harry got to see a LOT of people who all seemed to be incredibly appreciative of his presences and smiles. I’d hate to think that we ever take them for granted, but they were certainly out in full force this weekend.
Sorry to have rambled on so much, but I hope you all had an even better time than we did, and best wishes for the coming year.
May the extent of your drama be big red parked fire engines, and too many toys in one room.
(Also subtitled: the continuing saga of my disdain for "The Holidays")
Please note:
This is a VERY long-winded rant by yours truly about a really stupid situation that got decidedly worse this weekend. If you prefer very long stories, that hardly effect you in any way, please read on. If not, don’t torture yourself.
As if we all don't bring enough "bad energy" upon ourselves around this time of year, what with all of the shopping with money we don't really have, the long-thought considerations if what to get for people we don't really know, struggling to spend "quality" time with people we don't really want to see, coupled with the lack of time in the ever-shortening daylight sun (okay, technically we're beyond the solstice and the days are actually getting longer again, but certainly not fast enough), to say makes for stressful times, may well be the understatement of the year.
Add to all of this, when some of said people we don’t' really want to see, decide that this is a perfect opportunity to push their own agenda. When they seem to think that now, of all times, is the best time to "stick to their guns" and do their own thing.
Over the last several years, we've made concerted efforts on many occasions to make it to see as many people as we can on each trip north. Specifically, at this time of year, we seem to have our hands most full. It's enough that we have so many people that we actually do want to see that are scattered all over the Philadelphia Metro area, add to that a precocious toddler and a particularly unwelcome canine, and itineraries can get dicey, to say the least.
This year we decided to, perhaps against better judgment, crunch our holiday running-around into a two-day affair. We made it known quite some time ago, and reiterated over the Turkey-day holiday, that Kim would prefer to not spend her birthday trapped in the car, crawling north on I-95. Personally, I had hoped to dodge the drive altogether, but the compromise was to leave VA on Xmas eve morning, head to West Chester for Shrimpfest (7 not 5... OOPS), and then over to NJ on the 25th for a pinball-type affair trying to see everyone on that side of the river before heading home around 7pm.
Oh yes... all the while, finding a place for the aforementioned Regal Beagle to spend Christmas Vacation, and keeping Young Harry (you remember Harry? There’s a website around here about Harry) entertained, well-rested, and fed.
So go figure, Kim the world traveler has put together a relatively realistic itinerary for the weekend, in which we actually had some wiggle-time, and overall, not too much time in the car. All is well... until the sticky guns decide to rear their ugly heads.
There's nothing worse than when someone you're not allowed to distance yourself from, by virtue of blood relations, decides making not only an ass of themselves (again), and an absolute mess of what has historically been a relatively fun occasion. Now I know there are myriad of discussions of the state of, importance of, detriment of, direct effects of (etc... etc... etc) sibling rivalries, but by definition, doesn't a rivalry need to be recognized by both sides?
For those of you new to the situation, a few quick notes: Kim is an only child. I've got an older bother by 3 years, and a younger sister by 6 years. Meghan and I have what I'd like to consider a pretty solid relationship, as she also seems to have with Kim... which is nice. To say that my relationship with Bryan is strained, would be putting things politely... VERY politely. As well, both of my parents have remarried since their divorce, Kim's father remains single, and her mother has remarried. Now back to the story...
So back to our travel schedule... the plan is -- up at the crack o' dawn with young Harry, whip up a batch of blueberry pancakes for nourishment, everyone dressed and in the car, drop off the pup at Positive Playcare, and head North to PA to spend the afternoon in West Chester prepping for Shrimp. Touch base with some friends at the park, eat some seafood and such, make Meghan watch "It's a Wonderful Life" finally for the first time, and get some rest. once again, up at the crack o' dawn, head East to NJ for breakfast at Pop-Pop's, over to see Kim's cousins & godparents, to Kim's Mom's, to the firehouse, to see Melina's new house, then to Shelly's for dinner, Harry into his PJ's, then head South to sleep at home that night.
While it may sound intimidating, take it from me... this was a GREAT plan.
I took the 23rd off so Kim and I could spend her birthday together on a date-day (nights never seem to work out that much, although we DID make it to Tara's for dinner on the 22nd!). Harry off to school for his last day, haircut for me, some cleanup around the house, catch the matinee of Harry Potter (great flick, even without having read past the first book), pick up little man, pick up a nice dinner & desert at Whole Foods in Clarendon, and head home in preparation for a nice weekend of whirlwind travel.
Actually got a call on the 22nd from big brother, looking for info on our travel plans, and if we wanted to meet up for dinner before Shrimpfest (Mr. Fisherman doesn't eat seafood, so for him the menu suddenly doesn't appeal to him). I think I politely declined, but was "looking forward to seeing them." Thought the call was a bit odd, but didn't think much of it.
Called big brother again on the 23rd to wish him a happy birthday (for those playing at home, Kim and Bryan share the same birthday, as do I with his wife Anna). Admittedly an extremely brief call, but I had spoken to him the night before, and was going to see him the next evening.
We head to the movies, and I naturally turn my phone off. As we depart, and I go to check voicemail, a curious message from Bryan that there was some spat between him and the Red man that morning, and that they would not be seeing us at Shrimpfest. Maybe we could get together while we were up there.
Are you kidding me? Did I mention our schedule?
So I call back, and he gives some long-winded explanation about how having a phone call earlier with Dad, and getting into a big argument about something that happened the previous Spring between Anna and my Dad's wife Sue, that apparently got tied into Bryan's lack of communication with me and our sister, and that his decision was made that they wouldn't be going, it just wasn't a good time, and that he was sticking to his guns. Maybe we could come to his place before we went to West Chester, it's about the same travel-time anyway, and their 9 month-old wasn't felling well, and that it just wasn't a good time, and he was sticking to his guns...
Rrrrrrright. Whatever.
So I give him the bird's eye of our schedule, and where we have some free time at the park to meet up with some other friends and their son who's Harry's age. Maybe they could meet up with us there.
well, their 9 month-old wasn't felling well, the Park may be too much, it just wasn't a good time, and he was sticking to his guns... we'd talk tomorrow.
Right around now, some of you who have been paying particularly close attention may recall that my own original travel plans for this holiday season revolved mostly around no travel whatsoever. We'd be in VA, and everyone has our address. If you'd like to come by, we'd love to see you, and if you can't make it, we certainly understand, and we'll see you sometime soon.
My sister got wind of that "plan" and made it clear that it wasn't going to fly. This was one of her few trips back from Seattle during the year, and I certainly wasn't going to be the one to stick a fork in the Shrimpfest tradition if she had anything to say about it. So we decided that perhaps we'd oblige and make an appearance. Compound that with the staunch effort to not be traveling on Kim's birthday, and we suddenly were spending an entire day in West Chester, hanging out.
So you can imagine that the next call, after confirming the sudden turn of events, was to Meghan to find out what was going on, and get her side of the story. Admittedly, the details were hazy at this point to her, but she was indeed aware of a blowup conversation between Magoo and Bryan that morning, that seems to have somehow stemmed from Meghan relaying a request for a more varied menu...?
This is getting dumberer by the second... no?
So onto the other horse's mouth. A call to Magoo confirmed the heated exchange (perhaps better described as acrid) and a personal experience of the low-blow argumentative style that my brother has so glamorously displayed in the past (although certainly not to anyone outside of our immediate family, only internally), and the ensuing rude awakening that he indeed continues to exist in his own world. That said, Magoo had planned to let things cool down -- on both sides of the fence -- and would again re-invite them tomorrow.
You’ve got to admire the unprecedented gall, if nothing else, to be able to call out the host on something that you screwed up yourself six months prior, and turn that into enough of a heated exchange to bring down the party for everyone else, and expect everyone else to come running to you to change their best-laid plans, so you can feel superior… after all, you stuck to your guns.
With no intention of changing any of our plans, we give everyone a chance to sleep on tings and head out as planned the next morning. Just above Baltimore, I decide that it’s as bad a time as any to return Bryan’s call, to see what their plans are, if they’ve changed at all, and where they are going to be. No sign of the olive branch that Magoo was to have offered, and indecision at best to meet us at the park, but he’d call back. Almost at our destination, I give Meghan a ring to see what she knows, only to catch her in her very own emotional state. Turns out that Bryan does plan to meet up at the park, but very clearly (read: loudly) makes it known to Meghan that he absolutely will NOT be coming to Magoo’s place, and that if she has any problem with that, she’d better let him know right then. Ah, diplomacy.
So we finally arrive, only to find Meghan still fresh in her emotional state. After all, her only intention in this trip was to get to see everyone in one place before heading back out west.
After an admittedly very awkward greeting with the Magoos and a quick lunch, Meghan, Kim, Harry and I set out to meet up with whomever was coming to Everhart Park.
Lisa and her son Christian arrived in short order, and the boys had a blast going from one sliding board to the next, climbing on various expressions of Fire Engines-turned-Jungle Gyms, and tossing leaves at and around each other.
And up rolls the Saab wagon. Out pop Bryan, Anna and Patrick, like there’s nothing wrong. All smiles, no hint of apprehension, aggression, or even apology. No mention of why we were meeting in the park, why they decided at the last minute to ruin the party, what they were going to do instead, or even any future get-togethers. Of course, why would they? In their world, as always, they’re right, and you don’t matter.
There’s nothing like making small-talk with a couple of people who have to win at everything. Even at small-talk. It’s one thing to not get a word in because the other person is always going, but it’s completely another when no matter how much of an open-ended question you ask, it immediately gets turned into a closed one.
Harry and Christian all the while are flying higher than ever on the swings with very well-timed “Whheeees” and Whoooooooooas.” Patrick eventually got on and proceeded to doze right off.
So after about an hour of strained conversation, they decide it’s time for them to go home, but they’d like to exchange gifts. So Meghan and I head back to Magoo’s to get things out of our car, and Bryan & Anna meet us there in their car. Nothing like standing out in front of the house, handing each other shopping bags of loot, and making nice at good-bye time.
Meghan and I headed back to the park, myself feeling as if a weight had been lifted and the whole thing was done for a while. We snapped some more photos of the boys on their swings, slides, fire engines and see-saws, and headed back to Magoos for a Shrimpfest that couldn’t be beat, and headed to NJ the next morning.
Depending on how you look at it, the best drama we could come up with on the east side of the river was the most Christmas gifts we’d ever seen in one room for 2 kids (courtesy of Dominic and Isabella Decker), and the utter panic on Harry’s face when he actually made it to see the real Fire Engines up close & personal, inside Allen’s fire hall (Extended thanks and warm wishes to all the guys at Erlton Fire Hall)
I guess the moral of the story so far, is that the effect of poor decisions can be exponentially compounded when coupled with tasteless timing. Situationally speaking of course, sticking to one’s guns can certainly be a respectable decision to come to, but to blindly do it without regard to your extended audience can be a real pain in the ass.
Overall, I’d have to say a relatively well-spent holiday weekend. A bit compressed, but Harry got to see a LOT of people who all seemed to be incredibly appreciative of his presences and smiles. I’d hate to think that we ever take them for granted, but they were certainly out in full force this weekend.
Sorry to have rambled on so much, but I hope you all had an even better time than we did, and best wishes for the coming year.
May the extent of your drama be big red parked fire engines, and too many toys in one room.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Oh, brother!
I found this message in my inbox today from crib notes:
The bottom line is that the world's a big and sometimes scary place for us grown-ups. Imagine what it must sometimes seem like through the eyes of your toddler!
Whatever happened to There's Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself? I guess I should be lucky that so far Harry is not afraid of much. Sure, there was an incedent with bunny Victoria when she bounced. Once Bailey's barking startled Harry. Another time he didn't like a school bus. I have also heard talk that vaccuums frighten him (but seriously, when is he going to come in contact with a vaccuum at our house?). All of these things he has rebounded from. ALL OF THEM! Maybe this won't be true forever, but right now I am glad that it is.
All of these articles tell us to "Respect the fear." I think what a lot of that brings people to is enabling them - enabling their fear. Sure, we can be empathetic, but avoiding supposed scary things just keeps us shut up in the house all day. I think it is more important, even at a young age, to face a problem head on.
I am not saying that if a child is afraid of water you should throw him off of the high dive, but I am saying to get back on the horse, so to speak. There is no evidence to support that Harry has been traumatized by checking in on Victoria or petting picture sof bunnies. He got back on his little car after he fell off of it. He doesn't wnat to get out of his PJs most mornings but he does - and without tears. It is his job to go to school in the morning - something I learned from the wife and mother of psychiatrists. Empathy only goes so far. Sometimes you have to do your job, even if your job is to learn how to put your shoes on.
If we all did what we wanted many of us would be home in bed most days instead of going to work. And if I had been pushed a little bit more, maybe I would have learned to dive. Harry's childhood is still fun and stress free, but even children need boundaries. Boundaries are what comfort them.
I found this message in my inbox today from crib notes:
The bottom line is that the world's a big and sometimes scary place for us grown-ups. Imagine what it must sometimes seem like through the eyes of your toddler!
Whatever happened to There's Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself? I guess I should be lucky that so far Harry is not afraid of much. Sure, there was an incedent with bunny Victoria when she bounced. Once Bailey's barking startled Harry. Another time he didn't like a school bus. I have also heard talk that vaccuums frighten him (but seriously, when is he going to come in contact with a vaccuum at our house?). All of these things he has rebounded from. ALL OF THEM! Maybe this won't be true forever, but right now I am glad that it is.
All of these articles tell us to "Respect the fear." I think what a lot of that brings people to is enabling them - enabling their fear. Sure, we can be empathetic, but avoiding supposed scary things just keeps us shut up in the house all day. I think it is more important, even at a young age, to face a problem head on.
I am not saying that if a child is afraid of water you should throw him off of the high dive, but I am saying to get back on the horse, so to speak. There is no evidence to support that Harry has been traumatized by checking in on Victoria or petting picture sof bunnies. He got back on his little car after he fell off of it. He doesn't wnat to get out of his PJs most mornings but he does - and without tears. It is his job to go to school in the morning - something I learned from the wife and mother of psychiatrists. Empathy only goes so far. Sometimes you have to do your job, even if your job is to learn how to put your shoes on.
If we all did what we wanted many of us would be home in bed most days instead of going to work. And if I had been pushed a little bit more, maybe I would have learned to dive. Harry's childhood is still fun and stress free, but even children need boundaries. Boundaries are what comfort them.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
TC Williams Crew
I saw a bumper sticker yesterday, and for split second it made me happy.
Flashback to 1992. When leaving for college, the only thing I wished for was to not have a fat roommate. Overweight was okay, but I did not want fat. And don't take offense if you think you are fat. We are old now. Things were different 15 years ago.
My friend Justin drove down with my dad and me and helped me lug boxes up however many flights of stairs at Elkton Hall. I think he snooped before I did. "Size 2!" he proudly informed me!
I was so relieved.
By December 1992 I had gone from a healthy 114 pounds (after a prior anorexic summer weighing in at 95) to 156 over the holidays. I turned into a poor college student with no clothes to wear, no money to buy more, and lowered self esteem. I had become the fat roommate. Why? Because size 2 roommate had some sort of parasite, along with a phobia that kept her from eating alone at 3 in the morning!
In case you weren't following, be careful what you wish for.
It goes with out saying that before Harry was born we hoped he would be healthy, but also smart, athletic, attractive and charming. Well, in my couldn't-possibly-be-more-biased way, I think we have achieved all of that.
Back to the bumper sticker, what if Harry decides to do crew in 15 years? What if his swimming lessons pay off, he becomes a great swimmer and a top athlete? What if a fellow crew person falls in the water, Harry jumps in to save the person, and then gets caught up in the undertow and we never see him again? I just don't think I could go on (she says dramatically).
This may seem extreme, but I am pretty sure it was the TC Williams coach that drowned last year after saving one of the students at Crew practice. For my sake, and possibly only my sake, I hope Harry doesn't grow up to be a hero. At least, not a fallen hero.
As if I didn't have enough to worry about...except I really don't...
I saw a bumper sticker yesterday, and for split second it made me happy.
Flashback to 1992. When leaving for college, the only thing I wished for was to not have a fat roommate. Overweight was okay, but I did not want fat. And don't take offense if you think you are fat. We are old now. Things were different 15 years ago.
My friend Justin drove down with my dad and me and helped me lug boxes up however many flights of stairs at Elkton Hall. I think he snooped before I did. "Size 2!" he proudly informed me!
I was so relieved.
By December 1992 I had gone from a healthy 114 pounds (after a prior anorexic summer weighing in at 95) to 156 over the holidays. I turned into a poor college student with no clothes to wear, no money to buy more, and lowered self esteem. I had become the fat roommate. Why? Because size 2 roommate had some sort of parasite, along with a phobia that kept her from eating alone at 3 in the morning!
In case you weren't following, be careful what you wish for.
It goes with out saying that before Harry was born we hoped he would be healthy, but also smart, athletic, attractive and charming. Well, in my couldn't-possibly-be-more-biased way, I think we have achieved all of that.
Back to the bumper sticker, what if Harry decides to do crew in 15 years? What if his swimming lessons pay off, he becomes a great swimmer and a top athlete? What if a fellow crew person falls in the water, Harry jumps in to save the person, and then gets caught up in the undertow and we never see him again? I just don't think I could go on (she says dramatically).
This may seem extreme, but I am pretty sure it was the TC Williams coach that drowned last year after saving one of the students at Crew practice. For my sake, and possibly only my sake, I hope Harry doesn't grow up to be a hero. At least, not a fallen hero.
As if I didn't have enough to worry about...except I really don't...
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
I forgot!
I forgot to mention Harry's great weekend, and what a sweet cuddly little boy he has become!
Highlight for me: Harry standing at the top of the slide yelling "Hannah!" as in "Hannah, look at me!" It killed me that I was camera-less for this event.
Harry had a great visit from Grandma this weekend. To our delight, while she was here he seemed to only play with gifts she had given him, from magnets, to bedtime story cards, to blocks. I swear, we did not do a single practice drill before hand!
Sunday we brought our 5th visitor to The Little Gym. Past visitors have included Grandmom, Aunt Meg, Lance and Lola. Harry had a blast as usual. He does well on the balance beam. He grabs your hand and walks one foot in front of the other at great speed. He loves to put the bells and balls away. Even running around the mat for warm up is fun. And it was cute to see him walk around, elbows at his side, hands in the air, asking everyone "where's Ma-ma?" He is so cute!
We headed out to Old Town and had some lunch at La Madeleine, where we have not been for a while. Later, since it was actually a little bit nice out, Harry got to walk around Old Town and climb all over the pavilion stage in the center of town. He was exhausted and napped for over an hour!
Kevin made dinner around 5, and Harry went to his own kitchen to help out. He busied himself putting items in the microwave and pulling his pizza out of the oven, very carefully putting two slices on each plate.
I dashed out with the girls to go to Bon Jovi. I was stressed about what to wear, but ended up dressed just like JBJ himself in jeans and a long sleeved black top with boots. Lucky for me I was at the concert when Harry cut his finger in the bath tub. He has been a trooper and has gone through 7 band-aids since. He keeps them on as he is supposed to, and lets us know if it falls off.
Sunday I woke up bright and early with Harry. You would have thought it was Harry's father and grandma who were out partying like rock stars the night before, because they woke up much later and demanded coffee. To give credit...they stayed home and baked cookies for my cookie swap with May and Kelly.
Kevin and Harry showed up Sunday at Kelly's after dropping Grandma off at the airport. Harry played blocks with Ledi and Hannah introduced him to play-doh. He loves it, so I will be heading to the store to buy some play-doh accessories later.
Post play-doh party, we headed to the park at MacArthur ELementary. FOUR separate playground sets! It is fabulous! Hannah played with Harry and took him up and down the slides. They ran and giggled and Hannah quizzed the little man on where his ears, eyes, nose, shirt, head, toes, etc were. Harry even slid down the crazy circle slide with Ledi who is just a little elf herself, though she will be 6 very soon. Lots of giggles all around!
Missed Donna's party Sunday night. Once again, was looking forward to it. Harry was exhausted after so much activity though, and I decided it was more important that he unwind a little at home. He was in bed before 7. And today he spent at least an hour this morning sitting calmly on my lap, just hanging out. He really is just so sweet these days. DO you think soemoen told him about Santa?
I forgot to mention Harry's great weekend, and what a sweet cuddly little boy he has become!
Highlight for me: Harry standing at the top of the slide yelling "Hannah!" as in "Hannah, look at me!" It killed me that I was camera-less for this event.
Harry had a great visit from Grandma this weekend. To our delight, while she was here he seemed to only play with gifts she had given him, from magnets, to bedtime story cards, to blocks. I swear, we did not do a single practice drill before hand!
Sunday we brought our 5th visitor to The Little Gym. Past visitors have included Grandmom, Aunt Meg, Lance and Lola. Harry had a blast as usual. He does well on the balance beam. He grabs your hand and walks one foot in front of the other at great speed. He loves to put the bells and balls away. Even running around the mat for warm up is fun. And it was cute to see him walk around, elbows at his side, hands in the air, asking everyone "where's Ma-ma?" He is so cute!
We headed out to Old Town and had some lunch at La Madeleine, where we have not been for a while. Later, since it was actually a little bit nice out, Harry got to walk around Old Town and climb all over the pavilion stage in the center of town. He was exhausted and napped for over an hour!
Kevin made dinner around 5, and Harry went to his own kitchen to help out. He busied himself putting items in the microwave and pulling his pizza out of the oven, very carefully putting two slices on each plate.
I dashed out with the girls to go to Bon Jovi. I was stressed about what to wear, but ended up dressed just like JBJ himself in jeans and a long sleeved black top with boots. Lucky for me I was at the concert when Harry cut his finger in the bath tub. He has been a trooper and has gone through 7 band-aids since. He keeps them on as he is supposed to, and lets us know if it falls off.
Sunday I woke up bright and early with Harry. You would have thought it was Harry's father and grandma who were out partying like rock stars the night before, because they woke up much later and demanded coffee. To give credit...they stayed home and baked cookies for my cookie swap with May and Kelly.
Kevin and Harry showed up Sunday at Kelly's after dropping Grandma off at the airport. Harry played blocks with Ledi and Hannah introduced him to play-doh. He loves it, so I will be heading to the store to buy some play-doh accessories later.
Post play-doh party, we headed to the park at MacArthur ELementary. FOUR separate playground sets! It is fabulous! Hannah played with Harry and took him up and down the slides. They ran and giggled and Hannah quizzed the little man on where his ears, eyes, nose, shirt, head, toes, etc were. Harry even slid down the crazy circle slide with Ledi who is just a little elf herself, though she will be 6 very soon. Lots of giggles all around!
Missed Donna's party Sunday night. Once again, was looking forward to it. Harry was exhausted after so much activity though, and I decided it was more important that he unwind a little at home. He was in bed before 7. And today he spent at least an hour this morning sitting calmly on my lap, just hanging out. He really is just so sweet these days. DO you think soemoen told him about Santa?
I don't want to.
I will be 32 in 4 days, and I am just now learning to say "no" . I mean, I am sure as a 2 year old I was an expert, and I did pretty well in high school when it came to drugs, sex, whatever...but eventually I lost the ability. Erma Bombeck tells you there are more important things to do then sleep. Transients tell you to never turn down an invitation. You want to be active, blah, blah, blah. But there are other sides too. There are people who tell you you need downtime. I just never thought it applied to parties. Okay, maybe I was taught that it did not apply to parties. After all, I used to get an earful every year from my dad for missing his superbowl party to write my research paper that always seemed to be due the next day.
I think part of me still clings to the high school/college mentality that forced you to go out every Friday and Saturday night. Somewhere along the way, we became obligated to go to weekday parties, too. But know what? I am now learning that there are certain things I would rather do than obligate myself to go to places I don't want to be. Yeah, we drove to Jersey for 3 hours on Thanksgiving, but I mostly wanted to go. Tonight I do not want to go to a dinner. I am taking a stand. I don't have to go. I am not going to be blacklisted from society for missing one dinner. I have other obligations, namely, Harry. I WANT to stay home and have dinner with Harry and Kevin, get Harry ready for bed and play blocks with him. I am not missing a dinner to watch TV, I am missing a dinner for a better invitation: one with my son. That one is more important. And you know what? It is also more fun!
I will be 32 in 4 days, and I am just now learning to say "no" . I mean, I am sure as a 2 year old I was an expert, and I did pretty well in high school when it came to drugs, sex, whatever...but eventually I lost the ability. Erma Bombeck tells you there are more important things to do then sleep. Transients tell you to never turn down an invitation. You want to be active, blah, blah, blah. But there are other sides too. There are people who tell you you need downtime. I just never thought it applied to parties. Okay, maybe I was taught that it did not apply to parties. After all, I used to get an earful every year from my dad for missing his superbowl party to write my research paper that always seemed to be due the next day.
I think part of me still clings to the high school/college mentality that forced you to go out every Friday and Saturday night. Somewhere along the way, we became obligated to go to weekday parties, too. But know what? I am now learning that there are certain things I would rather do than obligate myself to go to places I don't want to be. Yeah, we drove to Jersey for 3 hours on Thanksgiving, but I mostly wanted to go. Tonight I do not want to go to a dinner. I am taking a stand. I don't have to go. I am not going to be blacklisted from society for missing one dinner. I have other obligations, namely, Harry. I WANT to stay home and have dinner with Harry and Kevin, get Harry ready for bed and play blocks with him. I am not missing a dinner to watch TV, I am missing a dinner for a better invitation: one with my son. That one is more important. And you know what? It is also more fun!
Friday, December 16, 2005
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Rising Before The Son
I am on a kick to regain all of my lost energy. One step I decided to take was to get (my 3rd) light up alarm clock. This one ALSO wakes you up with nature sounds and aromatherapy. I thought I could use it to gradually and quietly rise by 6, then do yoga until H wakes up. I thought this would be pereferable to jolting out of bed when the baby monitor comes alive.
Today I jolted out of bed when I felt I was under attack by a pack of very loud birds. Running across the room to turn off the clock seemed to wake Harry, who had been sleeping soundly since 7:30 last night.
I really need to read the instruction book tonight.
But - I did start my day alert!
I am on a kick to regain all of my lost energy. One step I decided to take was to get (my 3rd) light up alarm clock. This one ALSO wakes you up with nature sounds and aromatherapy. I thought I could use it to gradually and quietly rise by 6, then do yoga until H wakes up. I thought this would be pereferable to jolting out of bed when the baby monitor comes alive.
Today I jolted out of bed when I felt I was under attack by a pack of very loud birds. Running across the room to turn off the clock seemed to wake Harry, who had been sleeping soundly since 7:30 last night.
I really need to read the instruction book tonight.
But - I did start my day alert!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Too Late!
To all of you folks out there who decide NOW that we should not buy you anything for Christmas, I say, you are now getting an extra one. You are getting a calendar! So you can look at it and see that it is already December. MID December. Dude, my gifts are wrapped!
I shop for gifts all year, and I try to find appropriate gifts that I think you will like. Not too big, not too small, something that is useful, or will make you laugh or will make you feel good. For you to turn it down makes me feel bad. Accept the gift graciously. Say thank you. If you hate it, re-gift it.
No one is asking for a gift in return. 'Tis better to give than to receive. I don't always like my gifts either, and I often fight the deep wounds I feel when someone gets me something I don't like. It obviously means they don't know a thing about me. Why do I even bother? Why am I in their lives? -No, what it means is that they are bad shoppers!
Just cause you may be a bad shopper, don't ruin my fun! Wrap up a candle or some bath beads and say "I am a bad shopper!" It's okay. I will still like the bath beads. In fact, I need bath beads. I need Q-tips. Actually, I could also really use a new tube of Sensodyne - and I will think of you every time I use it! If you give me a gift I do not like, I will do my best not to say so...or I will re-gift it!
Gift's should not be mandatory, but if someone gives you one, you should not turn it away! That makes the other person feel a lot worse than "wasting" money on it or not getting something likeable in return.
:-Þ
To all of you folks out there who decide NOW that we should not buy you anything for Christmas, I say, you are now getting an extra one. You are getting a calendar! So you can look at it and see that it is already December. MID December. Dude, my gifts are wrapped!
I shop for gifts all year, and I try to find appropriate gifts that I think you will like. Not too big, not too small, something that is useful, or will make you laugh or will make you feel good. For you to turn it down makes me feel bad. Accept the gift graciously. Say thank you. If you hate it, re-gift it.
No one is asking for a gift in return. 'Tis better to give than to receive. I don't always like my gifts either, and I often fight the deep wounds I feel when someone gets me something I don't like. It obviously means they don't know a thing about me. Why do I even bother? Why am I in their lives? -No, what it means is that they are bad shoppers!
Just cause you may be a bad shopper, don't ruin my fun! Wrap up a candle or some bath beads and say "I am a bad shopper!" It's okay. I will still like the bath beads. In fact, I need bath beads. I need Q-tips. Actually, I could also really use a new tube of Sensodyne - and I will think of you every time I use it! If you give me a gift I do not like, I will do my best not to say so...or I will re-gift it!
Gift's should not be mandatory, but if someone gives you one, you should not turn it away! That makes the other person feel a lot worse than "wasting" money on it or not getting something likeable in return.
:-Þ
Monday, December 12, 2005
Personal Training
My new personal trainer is GREAT GREAT GREAT! Love her! And she is a Master's Trainer, so I get an awesome workout. But, since she is a mom, she only works like 10 hours a week, so she cannot charge master trainer rates, so I save big bucks! Plus, I work-out with Kelly, which only adds to the training, and also saves bucks!
I worked out today even with the stomach issues, but I think I am on the road to recovery now. I even have a newfound burst of confidence. Maybe teh overdose of enzymes cleared up my focus. The confidence applies to a lot of things, but also that we do the right things with Harry. This is not to say that right today is going to be right tomorrow, but I think we re-evaluate on a daily basis.
Daycare is the right choice for Harry. A lot of people ask why I bring this up so much, and ask if I have doubts about it. No. Like I said, I re-evaluate it, but daycare is best for Harry. He socializes with other kids, still gets personal attention, learns manners and how to interact with people, and he learns how to be away from home, which I think was easy to just blend into at 6 weeks then to suddenly be dropped off somewhere when he was two. Sometimes though - no, REGULARLY though, other people perhaps do not think before they speak, or at least stop to think who their target audience might be. Personal Trainer lady seems to be having trouble keeping her 1 year old in the gym daycare two hours a day, 5 days a week...even with mommy right next door.
I can see the boy through the window, and he look spretty happy to me. Trainer lady still brings this up often though. "It's not fair to him." She is trying to move 2 of her work hours to evenings because "They are missing out on so much." It's two hours. What are they missing out on? She mentioned music classes. Kelly brought up that it would be good for the boy to spend time with his dad one evening a week. Trainer lady changed the subject. She is also concerned about the biting and hitting that he's "picked up." The other kids in the gym daycare are 3 year old girls. Sure, some bite and hit. My neighbor pinched me until I hit her with my lunch box- and she was home-schooled. Harry bit for a while, but none of the kids in his class did. It is natural and he has grown out of it for the most part. He bites when he is excited or frustrated. I am sure that is the same for trainer kid, but trainer lady is too guilt stricken to believe this.
At least Kelly's daughter was in daycare at a young age too. Many of my friends work, and that is a good support system for me. But, it doesn't leave me walking around all day asking "SAHMs" if they feel selfish keeping their kids home with them all day.
My new personal trainer is GREAT GREAT GREAT! Love her! And she is a Master's Trainer, so I get an awesome workout. But, since she is a mom, she only works like 10 hours a week, so she cannot charge master trainer rates, so I save big bucks! Plus, I work-out with Kelly, which only adds to the training, and also saves bucks!
I worked out today even with the stomach issues, but I think I am on the road to recovery now. I even have a newfound burst of confidence. Maybe teh overdose of enzymes cleared up my focus. The confidence applies to a lot of things, but also that we do the right things with Harry. This is not to say that right today is going to be right tomorrow, but I think we re-evaluate on a daily basis.
Daycare is the right choice for Harry. A lot of people ask why I bring this up so much, and ask if I have doubts about it. No. Like I said, I re-evaluate it, but daycare is best for Harry. He socializes with other kids, still gets personal attention, learns manners and how to interact with people, and he learns how to be away from home, which I think was easy to just blend into at 6 weeks then to suddenly be dropped off somewhere when he was two. Sometimes though - no, REGULARLY though, other people perhaps do not think before they speak, or at least stop to think who their target audience might be. Personal Trainer lady seems to be having trouble keeping her 1 year old in the gym daycare two hours a day, 5 days a week...even with mommy right next door.
I can see the boy through the window, and he look spretty happy to me. Trainer lady still brings this up often though. "It's not fair to him." She is trying to move 2 of her work hours to evenings because "They are missing out on so much." It's two hours. What are they missing out on? She mentioned music classes. Kelly brought up that it would be good for the boy to spend time with his dad one evening a week. Trainer lady changed the subject. She is also concerned about the biting and hitting that he's "picked up." The other kids in the gym daycare are 3 year old girls. Sure, some bite and hit. My neighbor pinched me until I hit her with my lunch box- and she was home-schooled. Harry bit for a while, but none of the kids in his class did. It is natural and he has grown out of it for the most part. He bites when he is excited or frustrated. I am sure that is the same for trainer kid, but trainer lady is too guilt stricken to believe this.
At least Kelly's daughter was in daycare at a young age too. Many of my friends work, and that is a good support system for me. But, it doesn't leave me walking around all day asking "SAHMs" if they feel selfish keeping their kids home with them all day.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Adventures of a Real Boy
My weekend bout of food poisoning has not seemed to slow Harry down at all. He's kept himself busy around the house, hammering, wrenching, dancing, learning new words...
I thought I was having a serious IBS flare on Thursday...or got sick from the too much beer I used in a Beef Stew recipe...or became chained to the potty from too many probiotic enzymes...and then I decided it was the meatball sandwich from Subway. This is why I need to go back to veganism. I still have not strayed far from the potty.
Harry made it to gymnastics, but we skipped a tree trimming party and I did not run the Jingle Bell 10K today. I was looking forward to both. Luckily, Harry most likely has no clue we were supposed to go to the pool today. I am sure he would be disappointed. We still plan to have Lance over for a play date and gift exchange.
So, instead of his usually active weekend activities, Harry has remained indoors. I still fin d it horribly dull, and am going a bit nuts, but we have used it as a learning opportunity. After Harry watched Kevin put some shelves together, he proceeded to borrow the funky IKEA wrench and Darth Tater's light saber to fix everything from plastic chairs to door hinges. He helped us put his plate sin the sink, his ripped envelopes into the trash, and his shoes in his room. After watching Zoe, Elmo and Baby Bear play with a ball on "Nename" he had fun throwing his own ball around the house. He then saw another "Nename" episode about feet, so he ran around the house with no shoes on, counting toes and dancing. He neatly stacked dominoes on the ottoman, and watched in awe as Kevin lined his up and knocked them down.
Harry repeated almost every word we said this weekend. He ate a "Blueberry" muffin. He sang "Ba Ba Ba Ba-Ba" to them theme of Sing. He giggled a lot. And observed everything.
My weekend bout of food poisoning has not seemed to slow Harry down at all. He's kept himself busy around the house, hammering, wrenching, dancing, learning new words...
I thought I was having a serious IBS flare on Thursday...or got sick from the too much beer I used in a Beef Stew recipe...or became chained to the potty from too many probiotic enzymes...and then I decided it was the meatball sandwich from Subway. This is why I need to go back to veganism. I still have not strayed far from the potty.
Harry made it to gymnastics, but we skipped a tree trimming party and I did not run the Jingle Bell 10K today. I was looking forward to both. Luckily, Harry most likely has no clue we were supposed to go to the pool today. I am sure he would be disappointed. We still plan to have Lance over for a play date and gift exchange.
So, instead of his usually active weekend activities, Harry has remained indoors. I still fin d it horribly dull, and am going a bit nuts, but we have used it as a learning opportunity. After Harry watched Kevin put some shelves together, he proceeded to borrow the funky IKEA wrench and Darth Tater's light saber to fix everything from plastic chairs to door hinges. He helped us put his plate sin the sink, his ripped envelopes into the trash, and his shoes in his room. After watching Zoe, Elmo and Baby Bear play with a ball on "Nename" he had fun throwing his own ball around the house. He then saw another "Nename" episode about feet, so he ran around the house with no shoes on, counting toes and dancing. He neatly stacked dominoes on the ottoman, and watched in awe as Kevin lined his up and knocked them down.
Harry repeated almost every word we said this weekend. He ate a "Blueberry" muffin. He sang "Ba Ba Ba Ba-Ba" to them theme of Sing. He giggled a lot. And observed everything.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
My Toddler This Week: Your 19-month-old (week 3): Fun with Reading
New this month: Versed in verbs
The vocabulary of a typical 19-month-old toddler may consist of as few as ten words or as many as 50. Yours may be able to link two or more words together, (Harry is a big fan of Bub-Bulls and tonight was saying, while on the phone "Pop pop? Blow Bub-bulls.") and is starting to use more "action" words. Verbs like "go" and "jump" are common, (Go has been common, blow is new, help is new) and so is linking a verb with her name (or pronoun), as in "Come me," meaning "Come with me." (Harry is definitely using his name now. He points to himself when he says "Hahd-dee" and somehow seem s to use his pronouns correctly- me for me, you for you...I am surprised by this, actually, and think it may be a fluke). (It will be some months before she inserts the preposition.) Many 19-month-olds are also well-versed in direction words such as "up," "down," "under," "out," and "in." (He follows directions superbly, and uses all but under. Last night, I asked him if he wanted to go out on the porch to look at the lights and snow. He got his jacket and walked to the door. Yeah. He follows directions. Beyond my expectations).
What you can do:
You'll also discover that when you read familiar stories, if you pause at certain points in the text, your toddler will fill in the blank. To test this, next time you're reading a book that your toddler has heard dozens of times, pause at the end of a sentence and see what happens. If Goodnight Moon is a bedtime standard, try this: "In the great green room, there was a telephone and a red ..." "Balloon!" she'll likely shout.
Looking at picture books with your toddler, and labeling the objects for her, will help build her vocabulary. While you're at it, explain to her what the object does, what sounds it makes, or what it feels like. For instance, you might say, "This is a horse. Horses are big. They run fast," or "Here's a fire truck. It's red." You get the idea. And if you want proof that your child understands more words than she can say, when you're looking at books, ask her, "Where's the red tractor?" or "Where's the white horse?" and odds are she'll point right to it. Yes!
Other developments: "Motor learning," favorite toys
Toddlers learn by touching, holding, and moving objects from one place to another. They struggle to push or pull heavy objects, toss light ones across a room, and observe how small objects literally slip between their fingers. Experts call this "motor learning," and this constant testing teaches children about size, weight, and shape. You may think it's just fun for her, and even get frustrated with the inevitable messes that your 19-month-old's explorations create, but she's learning about perception and spatial relationships, concepts that will be important in a few years when she's introduced to math. This is an age when many toddlers enjoy trying to match shapes together, so a shape-sorting box is an ideal toy for a 19-month-old.
Starting last month, you may have noticed that your child was finally interested in playing with toys. No- this has been for quite a few months now...This month she may become engrossed in a favorite plaything for 20 or 30 minutes — an eternity to you if your child has been unwilling to let you out of arm's reach. He can already play by himself for an hour if you let him. He has for a while. It's been very convenient! But also neat to watch!
Since toddlers tend to be enthusiastic explorers, be sure to choose toys that are safe. Board books, musical instruments, nesting blocks and boxes, stacking toys, toy telephones (without cords), and push-and-pull toys are top toys for toddlers. Make sure the toys, and any parts attached to them, are too large to be swallowed, do not have detachable parts that could pose a choking hazard, won't break into small pieces if thrown on the ground, don't have sharp points or edges, and don't have moveable parts that could pinch fingers.
So there you have it!
New this month: Versed in verbs
The vocabulary of a typical 19-month-old toddler may consist of as few as ten words or as many as 50. Yours may be able to link two or more words together, (Harry is a big fan of Bub-Bulls and tonight was saying, while on the phone "Pop pop? Blow Bub-bulls.") and is starting to use more "action" words. Verbs like "go" and "jump" are common, (Go has been common, blow is new, help is new) and so is linking a verb with her name (or pronoun), as in "Come me," meaning "Come with me." (Harry is definitely using his name now. He points to himself when he says "Hahd-dee" and somehow seem s to use his pronouns correctly- me for me, you for you...I am surprised by this, actually, and think it may be a fluke). (It will be some months before she inserts the preposition.) Many 19-month-olds are also well-versed in direction words such as "up," "down," "under," "out," and "in." (He follows directions superbly, and uses all but under. Last night, I asked him if he wanted to go out on the porch to look at the lights and snow. He got his jacket and walked to the door. Yeah. He follows directions. Beyond my expectations).
What you can do:
You'll also discover that when you read familiar stories, if you pause at certain points in the text, your toddler will fill in the blank. To test this, next time you're reading a book that your toddler has heard dozens of times, pause at the end of a sentence and see what happens. If Goodnight Moon is a bedtime standard, try this: "In the great green room, there was a telephone and a red ..." "Balloon!" she'll likely shout.
Looking at picture books with your toddler, and labeling the objects for her, will help build her vocabulary. While you're at it, explain to her what the object does, what sounds it makes, or what it feels like. For instance, you might say, "This is a horse. Horses are big. They run fast," or "Here's a fire truck. It's red." You get the idea. And if you want proof that your child understands more words than she can say, when you're looking at books, ask her, "Where's the red tractor?" or "Where's the white horse?" and odds are she'll point right to it. Yes!
Other developments: "Motor learning," favorite toys
Toddlers learn by touching, holding, and moving objects from one place to another. They struggle to push or pull heavy objects, toss light ones across a room, and observe how small objects literally slip between their fingers. Experts call this "motor learning," and this constant testing teaches children about size, weight, and shape. You may think it's just fun for her, and even get frustrated with the inevitable messes that your 19-month-old's explorations create, but she's learning about perception and spatial relationships, concepts that will be important in a few years when she's introduced to math. This is an age when many toddlers enjoy trying to match shapes together, so a shape-sorting box is an ideal toy for a 19-month-old.
Starting last month, you may have noticed that your child was finally interested in playing with toys. No- this has been for quite a few months now...This month she may become engrossed in a favorite plaything for 20 or 30 minutes — an eternity to you if your child has been unwilling to let you out of arm's reach. He can already play by himself for an hour if you let him. He has for a while. It's been very convenient! But also neat to watch!
Since toddlers tend to be enthusiastic explorers, be sure to choose toys that are safe. Board books, musical instruments, nesting blocks and boxes, stacking toys, toy telephones (without cords), and push-and-pull toys are top toys for toddlers. Make sure the toys, and any parts attached to them, are too large to be swallowed, do not have detachable parts that could pose a choking hazard, won't break into small pieces if thrown on the ground, don't have sharp points or edges, and don't have moveable parts that could pinch fingers.
So there you have it!
Baby Face
I don't think I realize a lot of the time how young Harry actually is....until we put a hat on him! Or better yet: a snowsuit! When you can't see his massive head of hair, he turns into a tiny little baby! It's kind of freaky! Cute little baby face though...
Men in Uniform
WHen you see a man in uniform, as a civilian, how are you to address them? I always feel like I should salute. Or say thank you. Or DO SOMETHING! Usually, I just smile and try to seem appreciative. Any recomendations? (keep it clean, ladies!) I am referring to all of our heros: military, cops, firemen, ...
Yuppy Puppy
When we named our little black headed beagle Bailey 7.5 years ago, we were accused by at least our West Coast friends of being yuppies. As though it were a bad thing. In actuality, along with all of those Saranac, Guinness, and Remy owners, we named her after alcohol. If that makes us yuppies, so be it. And if taking her to Your Dog's Best Friend - Positive Playcare for Doggie Daycare makes us yuppies, well, what can you do...
I don't think I realize a lot of the time how young Harry actually is....until we put a hat on him! Or better yet: a snowsuit! When you can't see his massive head of hair, he turns into a tiny little baby! It's kind of freaky! Cute little baby face though...
Men in Uniform
WHen you see a man in uniform, as a civilian, how are you to address them? I always feel like I should salute. Or say thank you. Or DO SOMETHING! Usually, I just smile and try to seem appreciative. Any recomendations? (keep it clean, ladies!) I am referring to all of our heros: military, cops, firemen, ...
Yuppy Puppy
When we named our little black headed beagle Bailey 7.5 years ago, we were accused by at least our West Coast friends of being yuppies. As though it were a bad thing. In actuality, along with all of those Saranac, Guinness, and Remy owners, we named her after alcohol. If that makes us yuppies, so be it. And if taking her to Your Dog's Best Friend - Positive Playcare for Doggie Daycare makes us yuppies, well, what can you do...
Monday, December 05, 2005
Sunday, December 04, 2005
What Harry did this weekend:
Missed gymnastics
Strolled to Lance's house
Found a cave at the Scottish Walk
Slid down a slide
Hitched a ride home from Lola sans car seat
Ate a home made uncrustable
Watched too much Sesame Street
Played in the ball pit with lots of rowdy big kids at IKEA
Figured out the water bucket system at Mt. Vernon rec center pool
Colored with new markers
Giggled and cuddled a lot
Went night night
Missed gymnastics
Strolled to Lance's house
Found a cave at the Scottish Walk
Slid down a slide
Hitched a ride home from Lola sans car seat
Ate a home made uncrustable
Watched too much Sesame Street
Played in the ball pit with lots of rowdy big kids at IKEA
Figured out the water bucket system at Mt. Vernon rec center pool
Colored with new markers
Giggled and cuddled a lot
Went night night
Friday, December 02, 2005
Ahem! At least Dr. Sears never claimed to be a brain surgeon. Guess he finally figured out what the rest of us (I, for one) already knew...
(From the SleepLady newsletter)
(From the SleepLady newsletter)
Welcome to this month's Snooze Week!
Happy Holidays! It was a pleasure to hear from so many of you last month! Once again early rising strikes a cord! We got hundreds of emails in response to the Early Riser topic! Please remember
that The Sleep Lady is available for individual consultation to
discuss and hopefully solve your child's early rising pattern. Many of you forwarded me the insightful article in this week's Wall Street Journal - "New Advice on Getting Babies Back to Sleep". Dr. Ferber softens his stance on letting infants cry themselves to sleep and Dr Sears says he now thinks his earlier books placed
too much emphasis on catering to the baby's needs and
did not address the parents' needs enough--"What your baby needs is a happy, rested mother" quote from Sears). Thankfully, you and I have been here waiting for them to join us in The Sleep Lady's middle-of-the-road-approach this whole time!It's about time!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Out of Context
Try not to take things too seriously
Make my vote count
Not worry about pleasing everyone
To thine own self be true
Things I Like
1. Vince Vaughn
2. Short haircuts on guys
3. Doing yoga at the beach, or at least in a hotel room with an awesome view of the beach and an open door to hear the waves and a company to pick up the tab
4. Tan Skin
5. Keeping my cool
Things I Hate
1. People who are not punctual
2. People who don’t have kids or pets but think they know how to raise them best, just because their Midwestern parents were able to keep 5 kids in a shopping cart or threaten them into good behavior with the fear of God.
3. My lost willpower to eat right
4. People who think daycare is not fair
5. Bleeding heart liberals
New Years Resolutions
Stick to proper eating habits
Do more yoga
Get back in fighting shape
Stop reading trashy magazines just to fit in with people I already fit in with
Return to perky
Things I will not be doing this month
Traveling on my birthday
Visiting St. Nick
Accepting Jesus Christ as my savior
Judging others for their choices
Donating to Toys for Tots at my FIT Ladies holiday party
Sharing my true feelings
Being a negative twit
Things I will be doing
Saying no to things I don’t want to do
Giving people the benefit of the doubt
Spending some down time with The Rockin’ Gnome! (pictures to follow)
Looking for ways to spend the rest of our Flex Spending
Happily wrapping the gifts I want to give people and adding thoughtful notes to the packages
Try not to take things too seriously
Make my vote count
Not worry about pleasing everyone
To thine own self be true
Things I Like
1. Vince Vaughn
2. Short haircuts on guys
3. Doing yoga at the beach, or at least in a hotel room with an awesome view of the beach and an open door to hear the waves and a company to pick up the tab
4. Tan Skin
5. Keeping my cool
Things I Hate
1. People who are not punctual
2. People who don’t have kids or pets but think they know how to raise them best, just because their Midwestern parents were able to keep 5 kids in a shopping cart or threaten them into good behavior with the fear of God.
3. My lost willpower to eat right
4. People who think daycare is not fair
5. Bleeding heart liberals
New Years Resolutions
Stick to proper eating habits
Do more yoga
Get back in fighting shape
Stop reading trashy magazines just to fit in with people I already fit in with
Return to perky
Things I will not be doing this month
Traveling on my birthday
Visiting St. Nick
Accepting Jesus Christ as my savior
Judging others for their choices
Donating to Toys for Tots at my FIT Ladies holiday party
Sharing my true feelings
Being a negative twit
Things I will be doing
Saying no to things I don’t want to do
Giving people the benefit of the doubt
Spending some down time with The Rockin’ Gnome! (pictures to follow)
Looking for ways to spend the rest of our Flex Spending
Happily wrapping the gifts I want to give people and adding thoughtful notes to the packages
"Did Harry Go See Santa Claus?"
Wow- I had nearly f orgotten about this question. Luckily, several folks have reminded me.
The answer:
NO!!!!
No he did not see Santa!
And he will not be left out or his childhood destroyed becasues of this. Lots of kids don't go to see Santa.
An open mind is a sign of intelligence, and mine is not closed on this issue, but for the reasons you will see below, we are at the moment choosing to not expose Harry to the belief in Santa Claus. Other elves are fine, but this one has gotten out of hand, and there is some baggage in that sleigh along with the presents.
For now, I know my son, and I would bet his investments that there is very little chance he would willingly stand in line for hours just to see some large man in a red suit with lots of hippy white hair. Harry doesn't like his own relatves to pick him up- why would he allow a stranger at the mall? I have no plans to traumatize the sweet, trusting child in this fashion.
If I have time later, I will scan in the picture of me as a 1 year old screaming my head off on Santa's lap. If you are feeling impatient, rent A Christmas Story. Fast forward to the Santa scene.
Does this mean Santa will most likely not come to Harry's house? Most likely he will not. Harry gets presents all year long from us. We are not home on December 25th anyway, and even if we were, I don't think it is in anyone's best interest to shower more gifts upon him then he knows what to do with. Besides, I am sure Pop Pop will have come up with a few items that "Fell Off The Sleigh" so to speak.
I may have mentioned last year a few reasons why Santa is not coming, but it bears repeating.
1. Santa is a symbol of commercialism. Really. Though I prefer it to Pepsi, we can blame Coca-Cola. This is not to say I do not appreciate the art work as much as the next chick.
2. Who, besides me, was horrified to know that we were kept in the dark and lied to for years about the jolly old elf, only to have some bratty know it all neighbor spill the beens that it was our parents unloading gifts until 4 in the morning? I obviously still have not recovered!
3. Everyone is alsways talking about the "real meanig of Christmas" (which I do not celebrate)yet they prepetuate the Sanata Claus myth. Sure, Santa may represent the spirit of giving, but catch any 4 year old off guard and you will know it is more about receiving. Perhaps Santa is teh variable leading to Columbine. You never know.
I could continue, but you surely must have caught my drift by now.
Harry's holiday will be wonderful. We will celebrate Yule with bright lights and candles. The sparkle is what really tickles his fancy. That is the magic for him. That and tissue paper...and I am sure cookies!
We will spend time sorting through our "Holiday cans." Harry's includes his hospital T-shirt and his monkey shoes. Kevin and I are on our 11th year of goodies, including a lobster pick he rescued from a shop vac at Euro imports! We will spend time together reminiscing over the past year. We will, hopefully, share some bubbly and some good times with frinds and family. There will be presents, but they will be from loved ones.
I have no plans to ruin anyone else's fantasies. I still ask kids what they want from Santa. This doesn't make me a hypocrit. I am respecting the traditions of other families and would hope for the same respect.
When Harry is old enough, the plan now is to explain to him that Santa doesn't go to every house and vaguely explain that we have other traditions. Hopefully he will enjoy them, and we have every intention of making his holidays magickal!
Wow- I had nearly f orgotten about this question. Luckily, several folks have reminded me.
The answer:
NO!!!!
No he did not see Santa!
And he will not be left out or his childhood destroyed becasues of this. Lots of kids don't go to see Santa.
An open mind is a sign of intelligence, and mine is not closed on this issue, but for the reasons you will see below, we are at the moment choosing to not expose Harry to the belief in Santa Claus. Other elves are fine, but this one has gotten out of hand, and there is some baggage in that sleigh along with the presents.
For now, I know my son, and I would bet his investments that there is very little chance he would willingly stand in line for hours just to see some large man in a red suit with lots of hippy white hair. Harry doesn't like his own relatves to pick him up- why would he allow a stranger at the mall? I have no plans to traumatize the sweet, trusting child in this fashion.
If I have time later, I will scan in the picture of me as a 1 year old screaming my head off on Santa's lap. If you are feeling impatient, rent A Christmas Story. Fast forward to the Santa scene.
Does this mean Santa will most likely not come to Harry's house? Most likely he will not. Harry gets presents all year long from us. We are not home on December 25th anyway, and even if we were, I don't think it is in anyone's best interest to shower more gifts upon him then he knows what to do with. Besides, I am sure Pop Pop will have come up with a few items that "Fell Off The Sleigh" so to speak.
I may have mentioned last year a few reasons why Santa is not coming, but it bears repeating.
1. Santa is a symbol of commercialism. Really. Though I prefer it to Pepsi, we can blame Coca-Cola. This is not to say I do not appreciate the art work as much as the next chick.
2. Who, besides me, was horrified to know that we were kept in the dark and lied to for years about the jolly old elf, only to have some bratty know it all neighbor spill the beens that it was our parents unloading gifts until 4 in the morning? I obviously still have not recovered!
3. Everyone is alsways talking about the "real meanig of Christmas" (which I do not celebrate)yet they prepetuate the Sanata Claus myth. Sure, Santa may represent the spirit of giving, but catch any 4 year old off guard and you will know it is more about receiving. Perhaps Santa is teh variable leading to Columbine. You never know.
I could continue, but you surely must have caught my drift by now.
Harry's holiday will be wonderful. We will celebrate Yule with bright lights and candles. The sparkle is what really tickles his fancy. That is the magic for him. That and tissue paper...and I am sure cookies!
We will spend time sorting through our "Holiday cans." Harry's includes his hospital T-shirt and his monkey shoes. Kevin and I are on our 11th year of goodies, including a lobster pick he rescued from a shop vac at Euro imports! We will spend time together reminiscing over the past year. We will, hopefully, share some bubbly and some good times with frinds and family. There will be presents, but they will be from loved ones.
I have no plans to ruin anyone else's fantasies. I still ask kids what they want from Santa. This doesn't make me a hypocrit. I am respecting the traditions of other families and would hope for the same respect.
When Harry is old enough, the plan now is to explain to him that Santa doesn't go to every house and vaguely explain that we have other traditions. Hopefully he will enjoy them, and we have every intention of making his holidays magickal!
Why I Hate "The Holidays"
Too many different holidays to pick from, and people who get picky and offended if you wish the wrong "Happy... whatever" one. I say if you want to have all of these different celebrations, pick up on a neat little invention called "Observances." Observe your holiday sometime around mid-June when there's nothing else going on. It'll save everyone a lot of confusion and aggravation.
Too many "givers" with ulterior motives. Give someone a gift if you want to. If you don't feel like it, don't. If you'd prefer to make a donation somewhere, make it in your own name... don't take the liberty of doing it "for" someone else. Who's to say that your intentions are the same as theirs. At the same time, don't ride someone for not making said donation if you do. Their prerogative and their intentions are just s valid as yours... not to mention their needs at home.
Too much postage. This time of year suddenly becomes a series of races: the race to get your [insert proper wintertime holiday name here] cards out to everyone you possibly know first (of course, that's after whittling it down to the 2,000 people who made the short-list cut), the race home at the end of the day to see how many of said cards have arrived so you can see how many more cards you got than someone else did, the race from one location to another over the course of the month to celebrate [insert proper wintertime holiday name here].
Weird parties. Too much effort to bring too many people together, who generally are very happy being apart, without offending anyone. Which always ends up being a huge hassle and rigmarole, putting out & offending those who aren't easily offended, and those who we're trying not to offend, tend to be oblivious to the entire situation. What's the mitigating factor tying them all together? You guessed it -- ALCOHOL!
You thought I was going to say Shrimp didn't you...
Why does everything have to get magnified so much over "the holidays?"
The biggest sales, the brightest lights, the Merry-est this, the Chappy-est that... throw on some crappy weather, and cut back on the daily total for hours of sunshine, and you've got a recipe for success.
What a great time of year.
A few things I've made a concerted effort not to be responsible for come this time of year:
Christmas Trees
Kim certainly has her philosophical issues with cutting down a perfectly nice tree and dragging it indoors only for it to become a dry, dangerous, fire hazard for a few weeks, and then throwing it out with the new year's trash not unlike Harry's old diapers. My reasoning is much more pragmatic. Back in the day, or at least as I remember it, I used to be the one stuck with dragging said tree off of the car, in through the house, and then being responsible for: 1) finding the stand, 2) assembling said stand (easier said than done most years), 3) affixing said stand to aforementioned fresh-cut still-sappy tree -- usually with nothing remotely close to the proper tool for the job (whatever tool that may be), and 4) positioning and standing it in place. After years of pine-needle vacuuming, and re-decorating after it decided to tumble over (usually about 5 minutes after the trimming was complete), and now that I've been on my own for a bit, Christmas trees are no longer on my list of Holiday Needs.
Stringing Lights
While many can attest to the fact that we have decorated with lights for at least the last 5 or 6 years, I think it's safe to say that I've done my best to steer clear of the responsibility.
Buying Gifts
It's blatantly obvious that Kim is much more genuinely thoughtful than I am, and if I seem to have weaseled my way into someone's heart as being thoughtful, chances are high that it's purely her doing. As such, she's much better at knowing what's the right thing to say, do, or present someone with at a any time of the year. As with most things around "the holidays," this also, is greatly magnified during the month of December. While I would certainly love to be as thoughtful and insightful as to the wants, needs, likes and dislikes of everyone around us, that's certainly Kim's area of expertise. Why mess with a good thing -- although it does make getting her birthday gift on the 23rd that much harder.
This -- all of this -- is why if I had my way, we'd be home for "the holidays" doing whatever it is that we would do (as we've never accomplished this, coming up with a game-plan may be appropriate first). However, with work & family traditions being what they are, that's highly unlikely.
And so it goes, another "holiday season" will shortly be upon us, as will another weekend of quality time on the interstate, and wondering what Bailey got into wherever she inevitably will end up, and how much the vet bill will be this time -- when ARE they going to allow veterinary care to qualify for Healthcare Flex Spending???
Happy Holiday(s)
> The Grinch.
Too many different holidays to pick from, and people who get picky and offended if you wish the wrong "Happy... whatever" one. I say if you want to have all of these different celebrations, pick up on a neat little invention called "Observances." Observe your holiday sometime around mid-June when there's nothing else going on. It'll save everyone a lot of confusion and aggravation.
Too many "givers" with ulterior motives. Give someone a gift if you want to. If you don't feel like it, don't. If you'd prefer to make a donation somewhere, make it in your own name... don't take the liberty of doing it "for" someone else. Who's to say that your intentions are the same as theirs. At the same time, don't ride someone for not making said donation if you do. Their prerogative and their intentions are just s valid as yours... not to mention their needs at home.
Too much postage. This time of year suddenly becomes a series of races: the race to get your [insert proper wintertime holiday name here] cards out to everyone you possibly know first (of course, that's after whittling it down to the 2,000 people who made the short-list cut), the race home at the end of the day to see how many of said cards have arrived so you can see how many more cards you got than someone else did, the race from one location to another over the course of the month to celebrate [insert proper wintertime holiday name here].
Weird parties. Too much effort to bring too many people together, who generally are very happy being apart, without offending anyone. Which always ends up being a huge hassle and rigmarole, putting out & offending those who aren't easily offended, and those who we're trying not to offend, tend to be oblivious to the entire situation. What's the mitigating factor tying them all together? You guessed it -- ALCOHOL!
You thought I was going to say Shrimp didn't you...
Why does everything have to get magnified so much over "the holidays?"
The biggest sales, the brightest lights, the Merry-est this, the Chappy-est that... throw on some crappy weather, and cut back on the daily total for hours of sunshine, and you've got a recipe for success.
What a great time of year.
A few things I've made a concerted effort not to be responsible for come this time of year:
Christmas Trees
Kim certainly has her philosophical issues with cutting down a perfectly nice tree and dragging it indoors only for it to become a dry, dangerous, fire hazard for a few weeks, and then throwing it out with the new year's trash not unlike Harry's old diapers. My reasoning is much more pragmatic. Back in the day, or at least as I remember it, I used to be the one stuck with dragging said tree off of the car, in through the house, and then being responsible for: 1) finding the stand, 2) assembling said stand (easier said than done most years), 3) affixing said stand to aforementioned fresh-cut still-sappy tree -- usually with nothing remotely close to the proper tool for the job (whatever tool that may be), and 4) positioning and standing it in place. After years of pine-needle vacuuming, and re-decorating after it decided to tumble over (usually about 5 minutes after the trimming was complete), and now that I've been on my own for a bit, Christmas trees are no longer on my list of Holiday Needs.
Stringing Lights
While many can attest to the fact that we have decorated with lights for at least the last 5 or 6 years, I think it's safe to say that I've done my best to steer clear of the responsibility.
Buying Gifts
It's blatantly obvious that Kim is much more genuinely thoughtful than I am, and if I seem to have weaseled my way into someone's heart as being thoughtful, chances are high that it's purely her doing. As such, she's much better at knowing what's the right thing to say, do, or present someone with at a any time of the year. As with most things around "the holidays," this also, is greatly magnified during the month of December. While I would certainly love to be as thoughtful and insightful as to the wants, needs, likes and dislikes of everyone around us, that's certainly Kim's area of expertise. Why mess with a good thing -- although it does make getting her birthday gift on the 23rd that much harder.
This -- all of this -- is why if I had my way, we'd be home for "the holidays" doing whatever it is that we would do (as we've never accomplished this, coming up with a game-plan may be appropriate first). However, with work & family traditions being what they are, that's highly unlikely.
And so it goes, another "holiday season" will shortly be upon us, as will another weekend of quality time on the interstate, and wondering what Bailey got into wherever she inevitably will end up, and how much the vet bill will be this time -- when ARE they going to allow veterinary care to qualify for Healthcare Flex Spending???
Happy Holiday(s)
> The Grinch.
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