Oh, brother!

I found this message in my inbox today from crib notes:

The bottom line is that the world's a big and sometimes scary place for us grown-ups. Imagine what it must sometimes seem like through the eyes of your toddler!

Whatever happened to There's Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself? I guess I should be lucky that so far Harry is not afraid of much. Sure, there was an incedent with bunny Victoria when she bounced. Once Bailey's barking startled Harry. Another time he didn't like a school bus. I have also heard talk that vaccuums frighten him (but seriously, when is he going to come in contact with a vaccuum at our house?). All of these things he has rebounded from. ALL OF THEM! Maybe this won't be true forever, but right now I am glad that it is.

All of these articles tell us to "Respect the fear." I think what a lot of that brings people to is enabling them - enabling their fear. Sure, we can be empathetic, but avoiding supposed scary things just keeps us shut up in the house all day. I think it is more important, even at a young age, to face a problem head on.

I am not saying that if a child is afraid of water you should throw him off of the high dive, but I am saying to get back on the horse, so to speak. There is no evidence to support that Harry has been traumatized by checking in on Victoria or petting picture sof bunnies. He got back on his little car after he fell off of it. He doesn't wnat to get out of his PJs most mornings but he does - and without tears. It is his job to go to school in the morning - something I learned from the wife and mother of psychiatrists. Empathy only goes so far. Sometimes you have to do your job, even if your job is to learn how to put your shoes on.

If we all did what we wanted many of us would be home in bed most days instead of going to work. And if I had been pushed a little bit more, maybe I would have learned to dive. Harry's childhood is still fun and stress free, but even children need boundaries. Boundaries are what comfort them.