Harry is 16 Months Old today!!!

Finally starting to catch up to the age people think he is...which is usually 2 or 3.
I sometimes even forget he is not 2. All of those teeth and that hair. And the things he does are just so funny!

I like to hear him make his car sounds which I thought were "Meow" at first, but then I paid attention to how he was using it in context, like on his bike. Plus, he's never seen a cat!

It is also funny to see him navigate off of the little step on the back walk, or back onto the potty. He gives himself ample room. We're talking a good foot and a half of sitting down and backing off of the step!

We had a great time with him this weekend. Now that he is older, we don't need to be on top of him every second (only every 15 seconds). Not to mention, the house is very well baby proofed. One drawer he can get into in the kitchen is filled with paper plates and tupperware. Naturally, he took them all out while I was making salad for dinner. But, when asked, he put them all back in the drawer. Every single one!

I actually could have spent another day (or more) entertaining him today. Usually I am EXHAUSTED on Mondays.

Anyway, in honor of his 16 months, let's see what the folks at Sesame Street have to say:


YOUR 16-MONTH-OLD
Crib Notes From Sesame Beginnings
Posted by Grace Bennett

**************************************************
***Those Little-Monster Moments
***Teaching the Rules
***Building Your Toddler's Confidence
**************************************************

***THOSE LITTLE-MONSTER MOMENTS

Who is this toddler? This sweet little son of mine who sometimes grabs a clump of hair from the top of my head and pulls as hard as he can? (especially when I am doing yoga) I've had to pry his chubby little fingers open one by one to gain release from his iron grip. Certain observers have dared to crack up at this spectacle (my husband is the worst offender!), but wait till it's their scalp Ari is after!

Naturally, we're not the only parents I know dealing with a pain-inflicting tyke. Luckily for my friend Sue, but not for her cat, her toddler, Jeremy, channels most of his aggression toward the cat's tail, no matter how many times she admonishes, "Gentle! Be gentle!" (yes, we go through this as well. I keep telling Kevin we need to stop yelling at Bailey in front of him. He says "No!" and then hits her...often while she is sound asleep! But Menike teaches them when you hit someone to give them a hug and say sorry. I think this is backfiring to some extent...but I am enjoying the "free" hugs). Other friends tell of usually adorable children who have discovered actions like hitting, biting, or throwing things.

If you're having trouble reconciling this kind of behavior with your little angel, it helps to try to understand where he's coming from.
Remember, he's grown accustomed to your anticipating his every want. But now you're expecting more from him, and he doesn't necessarily have the words to express his frustration, so he gets angry and vents.

He doesn't yet have the language to tell you he's hungry, or tired, or under some other kind of stress. Often, your toddler's aggressive acts are simply cues for you to address some basic need.
(I think he has the skills now, so things have improved. Except with Bailey. We did warn her she needed to listen better!)

TEACHING THE RULES
At the same time, this second year of your toddler's life is part of a long, ongoing process in learning social rules, such as "Don't hurt the kitty," "Don't bite," and more. He's looking to you to set positive boundaries and let him know what he can and can't do. But how do you help him get the picture? Here are some thoughts:

*Be clear. One morning, after a particularly rough night's sleep, Ari rammed his fists into a bowl of warm cereal and proceeded to hurl glob after glob across the room. I launched into a gentle monologue about why this behavior was inappropriate. But just as I was congratulating myself on what an incredibly patient and sensitive mom I am, a fistful of mush landed on my chin. Exasperated, I blurted out, "Ari, cut it out. You're making a mess. And it's making me mad!" Mission accomplished. The lesson here? Because toddlers have a short attention span, they respond best to concise and straightforward language that honestly conveys what you're feeling.

*Let him experience consequences. Following the cereal-hurling fiasco, I took Ari out of his high chair, handed him a napkin, and told him to help Mommy clean up the mess. He resisted. I insisted. While your impulse may be to immediately clean up after your child, it's best if he begins to feel the effect of any havoc he wreaks.

* Redirect. If one thing is making her go bonkers, move on to something else. When she was this age, Anna used to get particularly irked whenever I tried to turn off the television. At first I'd explain that she'd had enough TV for one day (so other kids DO like TV at this age?), at which point she'd throw a tantrum. One day, instead of fighting that battle, I simply got out her play dough, started playing with it, and exclaimed how much fun I was having. It worked! She forgot about watching TV and started to play with me.

* Try a time-out. When the above strategies fail, and she keeps repeating this behavior, she's really testing her limits and yours. One to two minutes in any designated time-out spot is perfectly adequate for this age.(We had one of these this weekend. Harry was in the mood for wine and I said no. He still disagreed so we sat in a chair for a minute. He turns on the charm though. It's difficult to resist). Set a timer. Another option is to give yourself a time-out.
Sometimes you need two minutes away from your child to cool off and collect yourself. Remember, just because you have a 2-year-old, doesn't mean you have to behave like one.

***BUILDING YOUR TODDLER'S CONFIDENCE

Your toddler always craves your approval. Here are a couple of constructive ways to give it to her:

*Show her how to "help" you. My friend Sally has an ironclad rule in her
house: Everyone helps clean up, even her 15-month-old daughter, Nadine.
Interestingly, Nadine always seems eager to do so. I'll bet that's because Sally is so thoroughly effusive in her praise for Nadine's efforts. "I just loved the way you put the dirty clothes in the hamper,"
she'll croon to Nadine, who beams back an angelic smile. "Look how shiny you made that table!" Plenty of praise and positive feedback go a long way when you're trying to influence your child's behavior. Also, Nadine gets a confidence boost from the feeling of mastery she achieves. The point, of course, is not to teach her how to do a chore correctly, but to show her that she can be an effective little person.

*Show him how to be resilient. One time, when Ari fell going down the little slide at the playground, I could not stop myself from screeching in horror. When he began crying, I had the distinct impression that it was more about my reaction than the pain in his bottom! (Duh!) Toddlers in particular look to their parents for cues as to how they should react in a situation (something experts call "social referencing"). Assuming it's a minor fall, I now try to appear relaxed and say, "You seem okay. Why don't you try again?" After hearing you be cool, calm, and collected, your child is more likely to feel the same. If your child is hurt, of course take the time to administer the appropriate first aid and hug and kiss the boo-boo away. But then send him back out to play.

Sure, there are moments when you can't wait to hand your child over to your spouse and say, "Here's, it's your turn. You deal with her."
Fortunately, nature has seen to it that our toddlers' cute, loving, isn't-she-incredibly-smart moments outnumber the difficult ones by a mile!

One of the most delightful parts of having a toddler is how he makes you laugh. Next month I'll tell you about how Ari transformed my flannel teddy bear nightgown into his personal blankie. His toting it everywhere, from the library to the doctor's office, makes not only me smile, but nearly everyone we encounter!

Best wishes,
Grace Bennett

Grace Bennett, a frequent contributor to Sesame Workshop, is a mother of two living in New York.

Visit Sesame Beginnings for personalized information just right for baby and you.
http://www.sesamebeginnings.com

To unsubscribe, go to http://www.sesameworkshop.org/newsletters/.