Ah yes... So this is what this place looks like.

funny, it still has that new paint smell.

I know it's been a while, but as you may have heard, things have been incredibly busy the last few weeks... Not an excuse, just an explanation.

A co-worker passed along the following email this morning, which I can particularly relate to after my Weekend with Harry:

On Being a Mom
by Anna Quindlen

If not for the photographs, I might have a hard time believing they ever existed. The pensive infant with the swipe of dark bangs and the black button eyes of a Raggedy Andy doll. The placid baby with the yellow ringlets and the high piping voice. The sturdy toddler with the lower lip that curled into an apostrophe above her chin.

ALL MY BABIES are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories.

What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations --what they taught me was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One boy is toilet trained at 3, his brother at 2. When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself.

Eventually the research will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk,too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did-Hall-of-Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, "What did you get wrong?" (She insisted I included that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I included that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had
treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be.

The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the books never told me.

I was bound and determined to learn from the experts.

It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

Harry and I decided (okay... HE decided, I simply obliged) to literally run around Best Buy yesterday morning, shortly after it opened, so only a few customers, and he actually stopped dead in his tracks when he came tearing down one aisle, and another toddler was quietly gazing over Goodnight Moon in her stroller.

He quickly halted, did a double take, and looked back at me with a huge dimply grin on his face, pointing at the book.

Needless to say, it's one of his favorites!

On a related note, the story above really sums up quite well my original intention for this site. To be able to jog the memory of what was going on in our lives a year ago or more. So that Harry can someday see how he ended up the way he is, at least from his parents' perspective...

hopefully some more insights to come as time is "available"

Peter Jennings died last night.

.

He's been a part of many of our lives for so long. Even though we may not personally know people, we grow to depend on them as constants. I grew up watching ABC news, but felt an even bigger connection to Peter Jennings after 9/11. He was our link to home, as we watched the Pentagon burn behind him on ESPN, not registering what was happening and confused as we waited to hear news of Michael Jordan becoming a Wizard. Jennings brought comfort. He gave us world updates, while we spent hundreds of dollars collecting our own friends via cell phone.

It's been a time of loss all around us this month, for both friends and family. For some their time had come, for others it seems way too soon. While sad, my Uncle Bill's mom was ready to move on. Knowing how much she loved her dog, I am sure my Aunt Pat made the best decision for Kelly. Frank's dad's passing was unexpected as far as we knew, and certainly Janie's brother. While death is the most natural part of life, it is still so hard to accept.

I remember when Reagan took office when I was a child. While born under Nixon, Carter was the only president I had ever known. I was used to hearing his name. Surely, I could do with less of him now, but back then it was a comfort to know that certain things remained unchanged.

Now all 3 of the big anchors are gone. *Jennings, Brokaw, Rather. To a great extent, these were the voices that brought us a huge part of our history. They narrated our lives and were always in the background. These men brought us the news.

On the eve of our current space shuttle's return, it was Jennings who told me of the loss of our last. His calming voice is now gone.

.

*Note for Harry should he read this down the road...Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather retired earlier this year.

Thai Peanut Sauce - Creamy

This would be Kevin's fancy title for my brilliant veggie idea for Harry: mix in peanut butter to get him to eat more! Must have worked, because today's diaper was the foulest of foul! Loaded with carrots, too! But back to the peanut butter...instead of cheese on veggies, which I refuse to do to my son, I mixed in organic creamy peanut butter. The mixed veggies were warm, so the PB melted nicely. He especially liked the carrots. We might need more PB for the broccoli. But it gets some proteins and fats in him, and gets the greens down (or at least the whites and oranges!).

I am listening to Kevin sing and sign ABC's over the baby monitor. It is barely 6:45, but Harry had a long day today. His grandmom got to push him in the jogger while I ran 4 miles with Lola. He saw ducks and boats. We then did our daily drive by of the new house and headed over to the new Tot Lot, which we both loved. I like that it is fenced in and the equipotent is better suited for little guys. My mom got to push him on the swing for about 30 minutes. For some reason pushing him on the swing makes me very dizzy, so it was nice to just sit across from him and make loud "zoom" noises. He leans back and giggles the whole time.

Harry also got to walk around Old Town and get a bite to eat, play with the hose (the pools are packed until we move), play with the empty boxes in the house and head back out to Generous George's Positive Pizza. Paul used to take his nieces there, and Lola mentioned it today, so I thought we'd check it out (I know, I said no pizza, but I found a new daily lactose pill! I haven't puked since I got it!). Harry had fun. They had Ms. Pacman and some animal rides, which he liked.

As for the rest of us, Cookie Monster wags his tail for food, Bailey has been begging more than ever, Kevin and I packed a LOT! We also made it out to The Front Page in Arlington last night to see SML (Stan, Matt and Lars...Matt is Festus's person, Stan is Tracy's husband, Lars is a formal pro band guy!). SML sounded better than the band they opened for, and I'm not just saying that. It was good to get out, but we didn't stay out late since we were so tired from packing and knew little man would be up at the crack of dawn. I also had not slept tea night before. Harry's grill kept sizzling (batteries dying) and I was convinced, in my drowsiness, t hat it was Inferi from Harry Potter coming to get me!

Little man made it until after 6 today, but BAILEY slept downstairs. I have high hopes that once Harry and Bailey sleep on separate floors, he won't hear the ear flapping and wake up at 5:30, and she won't hear Harry and she will go back to sleep as well. Starting Wednesday, 7 AM.

Oh, and we are ending temper tantrums by 18 months. Harry and I have already discussed this. He's a reasonable guy, and he's been given ample warning.

Well, back to the boxes, and my last two overdue reports...or maybe back to Baby Laughs by Jenny McCarthy (second in her series). I just finished the chapter where she buys a new house because of the neighbor's dog barking.

Birthdays, Balloons and Bubbles!

Today we celebrated Sage and Aisha's 2nd birthdays at Menike's. Aisha turned 2 on Tuesday, and Sage on Thursday. Turns out they are also next door neighbors!
Renee also turns 2 this month. Susanna was not there today, so I didn't get a chance to meet either of her parents. I guess she will be turning 2 also.

I thought they were all already 2. Regardless, they are still a year older than Harry.

Menike had everything under control by the time I arrived 10 minutes late due to traffic. The 4 kids were all sitting at a picnic table. Sage's dad was there. His mom, whom I have met before, arrived later. Aisha's mom was there and so was Renee's. I have met them both in passing.

Sage's dad served up ice cream cake, and the kids all fed themselves out of bowls. Harry used a spoon, but also his hands. He keeps up well with the older kids, but by the time he finished his cake, there was a noticeable age difference across their shirts! He tries though!

We are all amazed how well Menike keeps 5 of them in line. And she never seem sto raise her voice. Only kisses and I-Love-Yous. From what I gathered, the other kids don't even nap well when she is not around, yet all she does is tell them it's Night Night. Harry even tells her when it's Night Night now!

Sage helped pass out gifts. He seemed to recognize that he got the blue bag I brought, and Aisha got the pink! Both got Mr. Potato Head sets. Aisha's card was Dora the Explorer, of course, since I know little dark haired girls worhsip Dora. Apparently all the kids at the park call her Dora, and she just loves her! (I feel the same way about Kim Possible!)

Aisha's mom passed out balloons and gift goody bags. Harry and Sage struggled over a pair of sunglasses. Sage broke the side of of his as Harry held them, so I gave Sage Harry's pair. The gift bags were chock full, so even though Harry is partial to suinglasses, I don't think he will miss them.

After the gifts Harry turned on some tunes and we all danced to Sri Lankan music. Well, I took pictures, everyone else danced. Harry danced on his own for a while while wearing more Mardi Gras beads. He and Menike then decided it was group circle dance time, so he grabbed Sage's dad's hand and they all danced in a circle.

By 4:30, Harry was partied out. He was cranky on the way home. He's not usually so tired, but he fell and scraped his face a bit, so I gave him Motrin. He ended up eating most of his dinner (the Boca nugget portion at least, as he is still anti-broccoli). By then the AC guy was here, so we played outside, running through the sprinkler and blowing bubbles. Harry tries really hard to blow them himself, and he makes that puff of air sound that kids make when they try to blow out candles.

All in all, a good day.

I don’t even know why I am thinking this. I cannot seem to get it out of my head though.

It could be because I passed by Emory and decided it is such a pretty school. Or maybe because I read articles about Alexandria schools switching to all year school (just 2 elementary schools so far). I honestly cannot trace this train of thought. Usually I can. Anyway, I started thinking about how good the girls side of the hall always smelled in college, while the boys side reaked. The guys side never had screens in their windows. Half of them didn’t have sheets on their beds.My dad even told me that the guys bathroom freshman year had the stalls labelled “Sitting,” “Standing,” “Puking.” Girls puke too! But no one ever left it all over the bathroom!

I have just suddenly decided that it is vitally important that Harry not smell when he goes to college.

He should be able to afford hair cuts (maybe they will have gift cards to hair places?)

He should eat some healthy stuff while he is there.

And he should have clean sheets! At least every couple of weeks! I will mail them if I have to!

For some reason, mailing Harry things at school is something I cannot wait to do! Or, at least, camp…

That’s, what? 9 more years or so? Plenty of time to stock up on sheets!

Kevin’s very appropriate quote of the day:

QUOTE OF THE DAY - One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things. Henry Miller (1891 - 1980), American author

I have changed my way of looking at running, and perhaps because of the running, I think I am now capable of really changing that negative attitude of mine that has been lingering. I think it will really change once I move, but I should be capable of changing my outlook on my own. And so I have.

Over the years, people have mentioned that what they liked most about me was my positive, optimistic attitude. Ha!

I would never consider myself a negative person. But I guess once you get to know people…well, you aren’t always as perky as you were from day one.

I saw another quote at Pilates today:

The optimistist sees opportunity in danger. The pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.

I’d say in almost every situation, I am cautiously optimistic. I don’t see the point in stress. Sometimes that makes me feel like I am a slacker, but I am actually a productive member of society. By some standards, I am pretty lucky. I don’t have Paris Hilton’s cash, and I don’t get to sleep as much as I want, and, well, there is always those last 10 pounds, but I am 90% happy with the person I am and the life that I have chosen. The other 10%? There is always room for growth.

So, as a lucky person, there is no reason why I should not reflect happiness. If someone annoys me, I should just give them the benefit of the doubt. Usually, when you understand why someone is the way they are, there is often a good reason for it.

My first boss, Gideon Rath, from the ice cream stand, used to tell me that if costumers were rude, instead of slamming the window in their face they way I might want to, I should smother them with kindness. The fact that this sometimes annoyed them usually made me happier than if I had acted aggressively.

Gideon was an interesting person. A bit of a pervert, but he lost a professional (soccer) career in Hungary when he was put in a prison camp. He had his number tattooed on his arm and everything. If anyone had a reason to be unhappy with life, it was him. But, in typical Viktor Frankl fashion, he kept a positive attitude. And he made out like a bandit on those Mister Softee stands!

If Gideon didn’t take out his bad luck on others, there is no reason most other people should. So I think I will just keep smiling.

Ah! I missed runner’s high!

See Mommy Run

It occurred to me yesterday, after about a dozen emails from my SeeMommyRun marathon group, that the reason we (the group, at least) run is to set a good example for our kids. Since I know from my texts how important the developmental years are, and since I know from my childhood (and adulthood) that having positive role models is more important than anything, and since the SeeMommyRun.com website actually states this, I am not sure why it took me so long to figure it out. My mind decided to add to it though. If we are running to set a good example, isn't it even more important to get out there if it is an effort? Show the little guy that we don't just do things because they are easy. Stepping up to a challenge builds character, and muscles. And all of that combined helps you to lead a longer, happier, fuller life.

And once you climb the mountain, there's a great view from the top!

I'd much rather Harry grow up to be a hardy Outward Bound guide than one of those morons from MTV's That 70s House!

New things Harry can do:

• He can dance around in circles
• He can draw lines and circles
• He can stand up on his picnic table bench (although we discourage this!)
• He can brush his own teeth
• He can follow simple directions (if you catch him in the right mood!)

Harry has another birthday party invite for Friday, so we may get to Dana’s a bit late. As luck would have it, the party is at Menike’s for Sage and Aeisha! Their names were spelled out, so I didn’t have to bother emailing anyone! I still prefer the name Sid, I think, and Kevin and I will probably always call him that.

I guess Harry made Sid/Sage cry a couple of times today. Know what? Susanna did a couple of tiems before I left the house! I think Sid/Sage cries easily. Harry is not so much a bully after all!

August is always such a sad month. It just seems to signify that summer is coming to a close. I know we still have a beach vacation to look forward to, and I always even looked forward to the first day of school, but it just feels like freedom is coming to an end. It is something that is engrained in me.

It seems the Sleep Lady is on the same page as me. Let's see what she has to say:

Welcome to this month's Snooze Week!

Welcome to August! As the dog days of summer continue, August always makes me want to speed up and squeeze out every bit of fun summertime has to offer. As my race to beat the back-to-school clock continues, I must always check myself towards the end of the month and remember the importance of slowing things down as we get closer to returning to our fall schedules. Whether it be preparing for school or work, remembering to ease back into a healthy sleep routine is paramount to changing seasons successfully.

As parents, we often forget in planning the schedules and activities of those around us to schedule time for recharging our batteries. August is the perfect time for that. It's the time to reset our minds, adjust our pace, and get back to a healthy sleep schedule. Begin making slight adjustments for earlier bedtimes and earlier wake- ups throughout August to prepare our bodies and minds for all that fall brings. As the thermometers on the east coast tops 100 degrees, my wish for you this month is to find a cool spot, a good book, and a "piece of peace" before fall falls into our laps! Happy recharging!

Transitioning from Naps to Quiet Time

What?! What is this about??? When does this happen? It sounds similar to Harry's Zone time so far. I am optimistic…

Naps to quiet time can bring a big transition for the whole family! Many families ask me at what age do children give up their naps. On average children give up their afternoon nap at 4 years old.

Whew! That buys us some time!

That being said, I have worked with many 3-3 1/2 year olds who successfully give up their daily afternoon nap (these children are sleeping through the night). Watching your child's behavior is of course more important than averages.

Oh. We probably have about another year left then.

With the two-and-a-half- or three-year-old, you still need to be vigilant about daily naps. He can skip an occasional one, but put him to bed earlier that night. Naps also remain essential for older children who aren't sleeping through the night or who are obviously tired during the day. Even when your child stops napping, quiet time in the late afternoon or before dinner is a must for three and four-year-olds, and a wise idea for five-year-olds, unless you actually like watching your child melt down.

Nope! Harry and I are both good "zoners." Kevin can nap, and Harry has learned to on most days, though he still seems to prefer "the zone." I am hopeless.

The simplest way to tell whether a preschooler or kindergartener needs a nap is to watch him. If your child is getting about eleven hours of unfragmented sleep at night and seems well rested, cheerful and easy going during the day, it may be time to go from naps to quiet time.

Harry gets that now. The doctor said he is a good sleeper. I still wish he slept until 7. A person I ran with yesterday has a child who sleeps from 7PM till 8AM when she has to wake him up. She said she used to be a zoo keeper. Do animals have bedtimes?

You might want to cut out naps every other day, rather than eliminate them completely, or you may find that he naps great on the days he's with his sitter or at preschool but won't nap on days he's with you (or vice versa). If he is cranky or teary or frequently melting down, he probably needs at least a few naps a week. Car behavior is also a good clue. If he conks out every time you start your engine, he probably still needs that afternoon snooze. Children who were good nappers but who now take a very long time to fall asleep in the afternoon may also be ready to phase out the nap and start quiet time.

Quiet time is exactly what it sounds like, about forty- five minutes of structured, solitary play, preferably at about the same time every afternoon. It's a time for children to rest their bodies and, to a lesser extent, their minds. It helps pave the way for a peaceful dinner hour and easy bedtime. Good activities include looking at books, watching an age-appropriate, calm children's video (leave fast-paced, action-packed cartoons for another time), coloring, or playing in their room with dolls, trains, trucks, or the like. The activity should not need a lot of adult interaction or supervision, so make sure the child is in a safe place. Some parents use a timer or alarm clock in their child's room or in the hallway so their child knows when quiet time is over.

Remind your child that in all-day preschool, all children have to lay down on a cot for quiet time- to read, relax their body and brain or snooze if they need to! Don't forget quiet time can be a powerful tool to recharge parents, too! Make sure you take time to practice what you preach and enjoy the quiet time away from your child. Dishes and laundry do NOT recharge our minds and bodies no matter how hard we try! Find a quiet space to go to and enjoy your own piece of peace!

» IN NEXT MONTH's ISSUE: Potty Training Tips!

Oooh! Looking forward to this one. Certainly not rushing into anything though. Harry is not ready yet. But I did see on A children's Hospital commercial today that we are supposed to start changing him in the bathroom so he learns that that is what bathrooms are for. I think we will start that after we move. This also stops the question of where to put the diaper genie/champ.

SNOEDEL

I never had a “lovey” when I was a kid. I had stuffed animals I liked a lot, but no “blankie” or anything like that. I was pretty sure my stuffed animals had feelings though, and some nights, after loading them all (and there were MANY) into my bed, I would sleep on the floor so they would be more comfortable.

“The books” say kids should have “lovies.” This was one of the things I had decided to concern myself with a few months back. I thought it was nice that Harry was so confidant he didn’t need one. I thought it was super that we wouldn’t have to worry about losing anything. But the books said.

I suppose I grew a bit more at ease when he decided he liked to sleep with a washcloth every night. It didn’t matter which one. It also helped to ease me into letting him sleep with potential suffocation hazards (SIDS occupied my mind for the first 6 months of his life. Blankets still make me nervous).

The thing is, most kids don’t get attached to things until they are about a year old. Enter Snoedel. I guess I was still obsessed with the idea of a lovey, so I ordered this “unique sleeping and bonding aid” with his name printed on it. The parents are supposed to sleep with it first, so it picks up your scent, but that seemed rather unhygienic. We just tossed Snoedel in the crib with Blue Bear (a similar lovey) and Baby’s First Snoopy (it rattles). Harry seemed to like them all, but Snoedel has jumped to the head of the pack. The times I have checked on him this evening, Snoedel was either clutched in his hand, underneath his belly while he slept face down with his butt in the air, or touching his cheek.

Snoedel comes to breakfast with us most mornings. Some days Harry snags Snoedel during diaper changes. He’s even made it in the car a few times. Harry doesn’t seem overly attached, but he brightens up when he sees Snoedel.

On a side note, Kevin says Snoedel dives well. He looks like a swan when you toss him up in the air. We spend an hour or so of downtime in Harry’s room before bed each night. Usually only one person can tickle Harry at any given time, so you have to find unique ways to entertain yourself.

8 Mile

First, let me say my prediction for Harry sleeping in on Saturday was not too far off! He actually did sing in his crib until about 6:45!

Today he slept until 6:02. Kevin and I hopped out of bed to get us all ready to hit the trail by 7. Kevin went biking towards Old Town. Harry and I headed with the baby jogger to Mt. Vernon to meet Lola and the SeeMommyRun.com group. I ran 8 miles today with a sprained ankle and a baby jogger at a 14 minute pace. I decided I am not that discouraged. I ran my first marathon at that pace, and I’d have to sleep the whole day after a long run. I did take off almost 2 years! I need to get one of those “Be All You Used To Be” shirts that the old army guys wear.

Harry hung out quietly with the group pre-run. He started to get antsy mid-way, but then napped for an hour. After, he sat on a bench happily eating his organic wheat peanut butter filled pretzels and organic Puffins and watching the bike dudes. He looked very cool in the Townsend Kids T Kevin got him and his red sneaks.

A lot of our stuff, and Harry’s, is packed now, not to mention he has outgrown most of his toys. AC was off and Kevin was getting grumpy, so we headed to the zoo. Harry wondered around, literally, aimlessly. He crashed into a couple people but they were more apologetic than I was, claiming “This is his place, not ours!” Cool!

Sadly/Happily he’s still a momma’s boy at this point. The right ankle was not too happy about carrying him, but we have a blast. He is a good giggler. Kevin says he reminds him of the little kid Brad Pitt in A River Runs Through It. This is Kevin’s favorite book, and movie. Kevin really only reads books that have movies made about them. Guess he figures, if they are going to make a movie about it, a must be a good book. I will have to pass along The Orchid Thief.

Stick and Stones

Like any young Wiccan, Harry’s new fascination is sticks, but stones are cool too. He holds the stick up to the sky like a wand. He also drags it along the ground.

I don’t want to discourage his love of nature, but I do worry he will poke someone’s eye out.

I especially worry that the eyes poked out will be mine, as they were very expensive.

Harry also likes to cross the street by himself. I am usually next to him. Actually, I am ALWAYS next to him.

He likes to go back and forth to visit his best friend Dan. And then back home to Bailey when he is at Dan’s. I am using this as an opportunity to teach him to look both ways. So far, he refuses.

Dan apparently saved the day at the barber shop this morning. Harry was cranky because he is 15 months old. Dan was there to make faces while Harry got his hair cut. I was at Krav, so I missed it.

I have to say, working out with Aidan was getting discouraging. She’s gotten so much stronger while I was playing hooky. Today we did defensive moves in groups of 4. Turns out I don’t suck. The other two people in my group did (and one was a guy). Aidan is just THAT much stronger! Harry needs to do some heavy duty friend recruiting so that I can catch up!

Back to Harry, he also enjoys taking Bailey for a walk. It started Friday when he decided pushing his bike by the handle would be more fun than riding it. (My back disagreed). Shortly after, he decided he should walk Bailey. It is not too difficult. Kevin and I use a “Buddy System” to walk her. It is a waist belt I found at a running store. We just attach another leash so that Harry thinks he is in control. I don’t know that anyone is actually in control at this point. I am pretty sure, though, that these do not make up Bailey’s dream walks! Luckily, it doesn’t take long for him to find a good stick, and then Bailey is forgotten about.

We found a second park by our house. It is across the street about three blocks, but it is a tot lot. It is nicer and more suitable for Harry. We took him by today, but he was sleeping. Silly boy. We ended up waking him up at Pentagon Row, where we went to soak up some AC. Harry got to try out the escalators. He also fell in love with automatic doors. We closed the trip with a Tall Soy Milk from Starbuck’s in a straw cup. Money well spent.

Bailey seems to be doing a lot better. No puking since before the vet on Friday. Labs looked good. The air is back on. Kevin is less grumpy. He’s baking a cake and updating photos. I am running at 7 am tomorrow with Lola, maybe Lance and Harry, and the seeMOMMYrun group. I am hoping they will get me back in marathon shape. Or at least work off Kevin’s cake!

Lastly, but certainly not least, Arwen Mei Downum has arrived! A little competition for Mackenzie? I dunno….she loves almost as far away! Mackenzie may live in

Ohio, but little Arwen lives in Fredericksburg, VA. Quite a hike, but nonetheless, we hope to see a lot of her. Welcome Arwen! We plan to have you Baby-Jogging in no time!

Anyone who knows me knows I am not a fan of Dr. Sears. Perhaps, some people who do not know me are also aware of this.

Anyway, I ended up at this website.

Interesting is what I found below: one of the Sears docs not fully supporting nursing!

This is like the Taliban allowing bikinis in some situations!

Don’t be surprised if Osama’s next video discusses why he admires Dubya, because apparently hell is freezing over!

BREASTMILK QUESTION
"I found your site very informative in connection with breastfeeding. I have 5 children; fifth one is 10-month-old baby girl. I breastfed all my four children and they are healthy. I am breastfeeding my baby girl. I have been advised to switch to give her formula milk as my daughter's growth is slow and is on the same percentile. I have been told that the quality of breast milk reduces day by day. Is it true? Kindly enlighten me. I am 35.”

Your baby might be small, but if she is staying on the same percentile on the growth charts, that means she is gaining the normal amount of weight from month to month.

Usually, breastmilk will provide adequate nutrition to about this age (10 months) – after this it is debatable (but I don’t feel like debating now). At this point, inadequate breast milk is probably NOT the reason she is small now, but it could be the reason she doesn’t gain well as she gets older. If she is eating a good amount of food, then the milk or formula will be a smaller percentage of her overall nutrition and probably won’t make much of a difference in her growth. If she is not eating much food yet, then you should look carefully at your milk supply (a lactation consultant can help here).

There are some reasons that mom’s milk could become less effective sooner than this, such as mom getting pregnant. I recently had a patient that just wasn’t thriving even though mom thought she was making enough milk. After a month or two of metabolic testing on the baby, mom finally realized that she was pregnant, and a switch to formula was what this baby needed. Be sure to check our breastfeeding section for ways to improve your milk supply.

Dr Jim, July 05

It seems the verdict is still out on my new drug of choice.

I was speaking with an old friend today, obviously chatting about what we’ve been up to.

It seems I have had a busy month.

10 business trips, Harry’s new 5 AM wake up time, lots of overdue trip reports, exercise, friends, a sick dog – oh, and buying and selling a house. I forgot about that.

I don’t know, is that a lot? Today it forced me to cancel my play date with Dana. Combined with my trip to the vet, I didn’t see it happening. We will try again next week.

I can tell you that I am kind of tired (hence, the overdue reports).

The sick dog is a bit more than I can handle, but we went to the vet today and will have some test results back tomorrow.

The lump on her neck we have to follow. The hip issue, we’ll wait and see if it hurts. The mania created by her nausea meds…we’ll let Harry chase her (just kidding).

No food or water for Bailey for 12 hours, let’s see if we can get Bailey and Harry to comprehend this!

I am hoping Harry might decide to sleep in tomorrow. Of course, if he does, Kevin and I will both be up wondering if he is still breathing. Instead, maybe he will sing quietly in his crib for 3 hours. IT COULD HAPPEN!

If it doesn’t, I am sure I will turn to my new companion, Red Bull. Today I enjoyed Kombucha Wonder Drink. Senor Bull is easier to obtain. It is at 7-11. It’s loaded with B vitamins. It’s got to be good for you, right?

Peas and Tank You

It seems young Master Harrison has begun minding his manners!

Menike told me that when she asked Suzanna and Isa (?) to say please before taking a cookie,

Harry chimed in with a little, tiny “Peas?”

Draco Malfoy

Okay, obviously it is Harry Potter season, and I have become engrossed.

To be honest though, I have read some classics that are not as adult oriented as the more recent Potter books.

And even though they are Fantasy, they are so true to life.

Last night I was reading a little more about how Potter is obsessed with Malfoy and his comings and goings. It hit a little too close to home!

Both of us are aware of our obsessiosn though, and feel we are on the side of good.

I was chatting with a guy on my 10 hour plane ride from Boston. He’d also read them, though had not started the new one yet.

Anyway, after the extended conversation about our fictional hero, I felt like such a dork when I called Kevin to see how Harry was. I really felt the need to explain that Harry is not named after Harry Potter, but my grandfather, Harry Hans---and maybe Han Solo…

Friends

Whenever I am alone in a city, they seem to always be there. Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica, Chandler and Joey. It’s comforting.

The old episodes are truly a trip down memory lane. Back before Ross & Rachel were a couple. Back before Kevin and I were a couple. Back when my secret code name for him was Bob. Now we are all all grown up. It’s all good, but it’s nice to remember what it was like to be young.

I had a lot of that going on tonight- that is, memories of what it was like to be young. I am up in Boston, playing the single girl. Got to go to check out Claudia’s cool bachlorette pad. Spent some time at the pool, albeit bikini-less. Enjoyed a fabulous dinner and some good un-interrupted conversation. (Of course, the restaurant was across from what was obviously the coolest playground in the city. These are the things I notice these days. But, Claudia’s brother brings his kids in to it from the suburbs, so obviously I was right).

Strangely, this new, warmer, more user friendly Boston reminds me of Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. We used to hang out there before we moved to the fun side of the Potomac. We used to hang out with Nicole…and I got back to my email tonight to find an Evite to her “It’s Not A House Warming” party. Neat coincidence!

Since it seems to be old friend week, I am also getting together with Dana Friday. Harry and I have a play date with Dana and his son Gary, who I think is 3. Joey may be there as well if he decides to hang out with dad and play hooky from camp. He is 5. I still have not met him! I cannot believe 5 years can go by so fast!

Growing up is fascinating. It’s amazing how your perspectives can change. I wouldn’t even know where to begin this discussion. Or I might, but it’s late. Time for night night.

Stats!

Harrison had his 15 month check up today with Dr. Liu (who is due to have her second child in November!). Dr. Liu is who first saw Harry when he was a newborn in the hospital. She is very nice.

We arrived at Pediatric Associates at 10:35, exactly 5 minutes early. Harry had 5 minutes to play at the activity table before the nurse took Harry to the back. She could see that he was walking so she checked that box off. He was weighed and came in at 25# 11oz. This is the 60-65%. Next, she did his height. He is 30 ½ inches. This is in the 30%. Is anyone surprised by this?

Dr. Liu checked him over. She had heard him chatting away from the next room, so she didn’t have to ask about his verbal skills. He smiled every time she put the ophthalmolscope up to his face. I think he thought it was a camera. He didn’t like any of the other poking or prodding so much. His ears are clear, his skin looks good, his boy parts are in order and he is otherwise healthy. Tooth brushing is on track. We don’t have to brush to get them clean at this point. Brushing is mostly for practice, so he is in good shape. He likes the brushing, but I cannot claim that we clean every tooth thoroughly.

The phlebotomist came back afterwards to give him his 3 shots. He is set now until he is 4! I can hear Kevin volunteering now to take him to his next check up! Kevin doesn’t like Harry’s reaction to the shots. He cries, naturally. He does not flip out though, which is almost sadder. He gets that ‘Et tu, Brute?” expression on his face instead. In contrast, Harry was on the floor, red-faced and screaming when phlebotomist came back. I was sitting in a chair reading a magazine. Harry was upset that he could not sit at the doctor’s desk and use her phone, or go for a stroller ride, or leave the room. I guess I had my three strikes. Anyway, phlebotomist said this is definitely “Terrible 2” behavior, a little early. A little early? It’s been at least 4 months now! I had hoped it would be ending soon! I am so glad we get all of the fun stuff early (teething, tantrums, etc)! Although, I understand what is behind the tantrums, and can totally respect them. Harry has all of these new abilities, and he wants to go with it. He wants to use them. He just can’t yet. It would bug me too!

Phlebotomist said the only thing you can do when this happens is stay calm. I thought I was pretty calm reading my magazine, but a cup of tea would have been nice, too! She said, as we all know, you cannot avoid tantrums. They are programmed into our DNA. It has nothing to do with parenting. I wasn’t concerned, but it was still nice to hear. Speaking of DNA, apparently cats have a forgotten receptor for tasting sweet. They are natural Atkins followers, since carbs do nothing for them. This is why dogs are better.

Moving on, the fact sheet from the doctor was a little longer this month.

Normal Development

Your toddler:

• Communicates happiness, anger, sadness, protests, warmth (√ - all in about a 3 minuite span!)
• Points to 2 body parts; gives and takes a toy, pats a picture in a book (almost √- I think he points to body parts. I mean, he does know feet, definitely. And hands…eyes…head…only not if you say “Harry, point to your elbow.” He doesn’t do that yet. If you tell him to put shoes on his feet, he does. If you tell him “arms up!” the arms go up. I guess that all counts. He definetely gives stuff, and then immediately takes it back! And he touches the hair, whiskers, tails, etc in his animal books).
• Shows functional understanding of objects such as comb, phone, pans, etc. (√ - Did I mention the phone? He can also comb his hair, put a wallet in his “pocket,” use pots and pans and whisks appropriately, put shoes on his feet, drink from cups…he’s got that down.)
• Begins to accept limits (√ - I’d have to say yes to this one. We have taught him to stop throwing his food on the floor most of the time. He knows when he has to count down to bedtime. He knows when we cannot ride his bike all night. He doesn’t always agree with the limits, but sometiems he cooperates).
• Says 4-10 words; uses jargon and gestures while conversing. Indicates wants by pulling, pushing, pointing, grunting and vocalizing. (√ -He knows 25 or more words at this point. The jargon and gesturing is a definite, especially when he is on the phone! He’s also begun putting his hands up as if to say “I don’t know,” covering his face McCauley Culkin style, etc. He pulls and pushes especially when someone is on his exexutive chair or in the driver’s seat. He points. I don’t like the grunting at all. We try to make him use basic words instead. Up. Down. Out. Cup. Eat. He seems to be starting to use simple sentences now. “Hi, PopPop.” Tonight he said “Night, night, Mommy!” I could have sworn he said “I love you” on the phone to Kevin a couple of weeks ago.)

Nutrition

• Choking hazards such as nuts, hot dog slices, raw carrots, whole grapes, large pieces of oranges, popcorn should be given cautiously. (√! Editors' Note: take heed Magoo!)
• Should be eating table foods the remainder of the family is eating. (almost √- he doesn’t like all of it, plus we try to give him healthier things, but we are moving towards it).
• Should be seated while eating (√.)

Stimulation/Toys

• Toddlers may begin “parallel play” which is playing alongside but not necessarily with children. (√- Harry does this. He is used to the kids at daycare. He like sto “pretend share” with other kids. I guess basically he just shows them what he has, and then takes it back. He does this with me too.Sometimes he offers up things a little bit to close, thereby clocking people in the head. Poor Lance got a black eye. I have had a fat lip. A coulel of times.)
• Playground, sandbox, wading pools are favorite past times; foot-powered riding toys, rocking horse, doll carriages, shopping carts are fun. (√).
• Limit TV watching to less than 1-2 hours per day. (√. Harry does not like TV, except, like me, a little bit of the weather channel. Kevin has also reduced his TV watching so that it is rarely even on around Harry. Still, I hope we can get him to watch DVDs on the way to Duck.)
• Read to child each day. (√.)

Harry appears to be right on track. He’s a little bit short, but he is so cute little!

After Harry’s appointment, he looked so dejected. I took a conference call in the car as I drove to the park. We had a picnic lunch but he still didn’t brighten much. He played on the playground equiptment and smiled, but he had obviously been very drained. It was easy to get him past the swings on the way out.

It was not easy to drop him off at Menike’s. Once again, “Et tu, Brute?”

This is why I am the picker-upper!

Wouldn't it suck to go to IKEA every time you moved?

Oh wait! We do go to IKEA every time we move!
But, it's so cheap! We can furnish the whole house and still afford to send Harry to college!
What a deal!

IKEA was PACKED today. I think everyone else was doing what we were: stealing the free AC!

We almost weren't able to leave, though. Harry found a desk with a keyboard and a phone and set up shop, oblivious to the people shopping around him. I blame Kevin.

Your 15 Month Old, from babycenter.com

Guess who turned 15 months old today? I confess, not paying any attention to the date, I thought this “big milestone” was to occur on Monday. That is when his check up with the pediatrician is. Oops! Well, I guess we’ll have his vital stats on Monday, for now, let’s see where he stacks up developmentally…

New this month: Moving forward
Every day you watch your toddler attempt and accomplish something new, but the 15th month is one that pediatricians and developmental experts consider a "milestone" period. Most babies (around 90 percent) are walking now, and it may seem like with her first steps your baby walked right out of babyhood. (I think Kevin would agree with me, Harry never seemed like a baby. He was born a little kid.) Suddenly she wants to sit at the dinner table (please refer to Harry’s World photo of him in his throne) — or stand on a chair at the table — instead of in her highchair (he is so far very happy in his high chair. I think it makes him feel like a big kid, actually), she wants to talk on the telephone (as anyone who has ever met him knows! - but it’s been that way for MANY months now), push the vacuum cleaner (I don’t think Harry has ever seen a vacuum cleaner), anything she can do to help you. Even if she's not totally confident on her feet, she's still very keen to experiment with different ways of moving: climbing, trotting, running, jumping, and ... dawdling. Harry kicks butt on the stairs! I have big rock climbing ambitions for him. Menike refers these happenings as “monkey see, monkey do,” but as of late, Sponge Harry has really started copying everything we do. He tries to put Kevin’s wallet in his usually non-existent back pocket. After a couple of days of watching me put make-up on, he decided coloring his face with marker was a good idea. And I am going to positively dehydrate if he takes one more water bottle away from me!

Shopping and marketing can be challenging during these early stages of toddlerhood, since your mini-explorer is much too curious to be strapped into a grocery cart or stroller (Harry didn’t like his stroller when he was little. He loves it now. I would go so far as to say he is obsessed. But he also enjoys exploring. This behavior is usually reinforced by the free gifts salespeople give him) — she'd much rather stand or walk. (Some babies this age are more content to ride in a backpack.) She also wants to pull things off of shelves and then try to carry the objects while she walks around. While this can be frustrating for you, she's not intentionally trying to cause trouble — she's just putting her new physical skills to the test. (Luckily, Harry is at school playing with his friends during the day, so he is not usually stuck running errands and food shopping).

What you can do
If your baby is walking with confidence, it won't take much encouragement from you to get her to take some bigger steps. For a safe, fun outing, get a large lightweight ball, like a beach ball, and head to a grassy place where there's a gentle slope. Toss the ball up the hill and then when it rolls back toward you, show your toddler how to catch it. She may not catch it very often, but she will have a great time trying to chase it down. (Harry is a fairly good catcher. This sounds like a fun activity though. No idea where we will find a hill in Alexandria though).

If your toddler is still wobbly on her feet, she may enjoy pushing around an activity walker toy. She'll soon build up the confidence to walk freely on her own.

Other developments: Busy hands
Keys, pencils, lipsticks, a watch, anything you have in your wallet: All are likely to be fascinating to your toddler. (OH YEAH!!!) Not just because they're fun to look at, but because she sees you using such objects and she wants to do the same. The problem is, you might not want her trying on your lipstick! (Hence, the marker). Your challenge is to find ways to satisfy her need to mimic the things she sees you do, but safely. Consider getting her a set of plastic keys all her own. (Oh, okay! What kid does that work for?) You can also give her an old purse of yours and put in a hairbrush and comb, and maybe an old wallet. (He’s already got the old cell phones).

There are plenty of other ways to keep your toddler's hands occupied for more than a minute or two. For example, fill a laundry basket with odds and ends, such as plastic containers and lids, paper towel or toilet paper cores, empty cereal boxes (with plastic liners removed), and so on. She'll love getting her hands on — and trying to figure out how to use — objects that look like they have a purpose. (Nah, I prefer expensive toys that serve the same purpose. I think they are nicer for me to look at. Who wants to look at garbage tossed around their living room?)

New this month: Pay attention to meeeee!
(That’s new?) Whirlwind. It's a word that aptly describes a typical 15-month-old, and life with a toddler this age is never dull. His attention is equally divided between his toys and you. Children thrive on their parents' attention, and if you happen to leave the area where he's playing, he'll come looking for you within a few minutes (if we are lucky) because he wants to know that you're paying attention to him. "See! See!" is probably a common refrain in your house as your child tries to balance his drive to be more independent with his need to know he can depend on you.

Until now, your toddler has been preoccupied with checking out his surroundings and the objects in his world. Now he's just as curious about the effects of his behavior on other people (Harry has always been more interested in people than things…of course, now he is into reactions, such as what happens if he clocks you in the head with a cordless phone. He is usually very pleased with the response. Dimples and everything. I am told that there is not an emotional connection here. He is not happy to have hurt you, he is happy that he caused an effect), and his connection with you is vital to his confidence. During this period of social exploration you may see him trying to get your attention anyway he can. He'll shout, imitate gestures he sees you and other adults making, pinch, poke, shove, whine, and cry, all in an attempt to see how you react, and what it takes for him to get what he wants. He will quickly realize that various behaviors get different results from the adults who surround him. He may learn that he gets what he wants faster if he laughs instead of whines. Or that whining will get him what he wants from his grandfather (PopPop, are you listening???), but not from his mom or dad. This experimentation is all part of socialization, and if you are consistent with enforcing limits, he'll soon learn which behaviors are acceptable and which aren't. (I am a sucker for the dimples though. Luckily, I am not the bad cop).

What you can do
The wilder things your child does to maintain his connection with you and your attention on him may be more annoying and frustrating for you than for your toddler. Really listening when your toddler is trying to tell you something and giving him as much attention as you can may head off a great deal of whining and screaming, but when you've reached your limit you may simply need to remove yourself from the room. Put your toddler in his crib or playpen and step out for a few minutes, take a few deep breaths, and take a moment to remind yourself that he's going through a phase.

Consider getting involved in a playgroup that includes some children who are slightly older than yours. Preschool-age children are capable of engaging their younger friends in pretend play, and yours may enjoy being with kids who are willing to take a "leadership" role in play (Harry much prefers older kids, aged 3-5. I do too. They play very well together. Playing with 1 or 2 year olds can be challenging, especially when those kids are, um, not the best behaved. Luckily, the ones he plays with the most usually are. Those kids don’t push him off of his slide or throw sand in his face. His favorite kids are probably the nephew at daycare, Solan, and Dominic and Isabella. Isabella is only two, but she is used to older kids. I think she is also intrigue by Harry. He’s her pet). Playing with a mixed-age group can also be a great way for the younger ones to learn about cooperation.

If your child is reluctant to let you out of his sight, a small group of two or three children who are your child's same age will probably suit your toddler best, and once he's gotten used to "playing" with one or two other children his own age, it will be easier for him to be away from you.

Other developments: A budding sense of humor, Mom vs. Dad, and nightmares
Everyone loves a clown, and your 15-month-old already realizes this. Once he recognizes that a certain behavior — dancing, crawling like a baby, doing somersaults — gets a positive response from you, he'll do it over and over not just because he can, but because he loves to be the center of attention. After a silly dance performance, for instance, he'll look around the room just to see what kind of effect his moves have had on the audience, and if he has everyone's attention, he'll offer an encore.

Don't be surprised if your toddler already seems to treat you and your spouse differently. Whichever parent he spends the most time with will be the one he demands more of and is hardest on. (I think this must be Kevin. Poor Kevin doesn’t get as many grins and giggles…but I think that Kevin is who Harry goes to when he is sleepy or if he falls and gets hurt). If Mom's around more, Dad will be treated like someone special, and vice versa. While this may make one of you feel jealous, know that it's normal and is your child's way of testing out his relationship with each of you. Family dynamics, and your child's shifting loyalties (they totally shift! He’s very fair weather, not unlike Bailey), will be more and more evident during the next few months as he becomes increasingly independent.

Finally, as toddlers begin to experiment with imaginative play, they also sometimes start to have nightmares. A 15-month-old is reaching an age where he can start to think on a symbolic level and is able to transform reality into fantasy (not that he could explain this to you!). It will be several years before your child can distinguish between dreams and reality. Since he probably can't use words to tell you about his dreams, you'll have to rely on unusual behaviors to alert you. Children who are stressed or anxious (usually related to tension in the family or problems with daycare or preschool) are prone to nightmares (Isabella had several nightmares about snakes after coming in contact with a plastic one. Harry wakes up at the end of his REM cycles. I am convinced it is because of bad dreams). If your usually sound sleeper awakens crying in the night and can't tell you why he's upset, try talking to him in a soothing voice and rubbing his back until he settles down (thanks for the advice, she says sarcastically).

At this age, all you can do is comfort your child and perhaps establish some sort of routine to banish the "monsters" from his room. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests reading your toddler some stories about dreams and sleep, such as In the Night Kitchen, by Maurice Sendak, to help him understand that they're nothing to be afraid of. (I think we’ll just watch Monsters, Inc, and do lots of Scary Feet to get rid of them…and get a quad workout in the process!).

Sometimes these things are useful. This one, not so much. Ah well.

I am not as competitive about Harry’s milestones as I used to be. I guess I can say that, since he is usually textbook on so many of them. Anything he is advanced on, I’d have to say is most likely just from being around the other kids at daycare. Solan, of course, is the coolest. He is three, and Harry is so excited on the days he is there. He goes to pre-school now, so it is usually just afternoons or off days. Reenie and the other little girl are just part timers. They seem to get along well. Both are two. They usually hang out with Susanna. She is also two. The girls are very cute these days. They hang out together in their little dresses and swing. Interesting that the boys and girls already seem to have segregated themselves to some extent. Sid/Sage/whatever his name is (I really should email someone about what these kids names are. It is hard to understand Menike’s accent sometimes.) and Susanna are full timers like Harry. They seem comfortable being the regulars. This also means that they either seem to be kind of ignoring each other or annoying each other. I figure it is because they are always together. The boys seem to do more active things, while the girls can stay in one place. Now that I am writing this, I am only just realizing it. For the short periods of time that I am there with them, it seems like the boys cover more area.

Harry is still working on his coloring. He also uses paper, not just his face. He likes to climb around on the playground equipment at Menike’s. He likes to hang out in the blanket cabinet in his room and play peekabo. And he loves long rides in his stroller or on his bike. And straw cups.

He dislikes cottage cheese. He dislikes being told “No.” He dislikes having to play inside during the day. And he hates being stuck in his car seat for more than 2.5 hours. I hope we can convince him to like DVDs again before our 6 hour drive to Duck!

This is what happens when Kim travels, and I get to make dinner...